I like to consider myself a spokesperson for Christianity. I may not have finished the Bible - I'm up to the section where Sheila begats Shelob, and Shelob begats Shamwow, etcetera - but I believe that a shortage of knowledge should never disqualify a man from writing about things on the internet. As a greeting card company owner, I also make a hell of a lot of money out of religious holidays - which technically makes me a religious leader of the old-school sort. So as your local religious leader I'm giving you all a Christmas card that you can send to your heathen friends, as a way of guilt-tripping them for being wrong about religion. Don't say I never gave you anything. Merry Holidays!
Let's all imagine, for the sake of the argument, that it's Christmas eve. What's a good Christmas movie? I mean, apart from Diehard? (This description has nothing to do with the card. Rules are for squares, baby).
Oh my god, the department stores have put up Christmas decorations already. Every year it's earlier and earlier. Civilized people like you and me understand that Christmas shopping starts on Christmas Eve, and in a heightened state of panic mingled with resentment and lots of mental swearing. You know what's ironic? I bet Jesus' parents didn't even celebrate Christmas.
The song 'I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus' offers a pretty sinister implication when you believe in Santa. When I was a little kid, thinking about this man carrying on with some kid's mum was pretty distressing. Sure, he's a notorious 'reverse burglar', but what's his deal with messing about with other kid's mums? It's understandable then that when other kids got better presents than me, it did kind of change my attitude towards their mothers. In unrelated news, for some reason I wasn't invited to Christmas parties as a child either.
I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.
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Wrongcards offering free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion, and is possibly the most curious greeting card site on the web. Here you will find cards with a unique freshness and originality, which have been lovingly inked on fresh parchment by an emotionally mature artist committed only to the causes of good taste and judgment.
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But we'd like to mention that buying our stuff will not make you cool: you are already cool. You don't need to impress your friends: we're already impressed. With that disclaimer out of the way, we
sell packs of
cool wrong postcards
over at Amazon. They're not very suitable to send to people but that's kind of the idea here.