flirting ecards

About this category

Keeping the costs of flirtation down to a minimum is critical because flirting is your bread and butter, your ticket to fame and success. Fortunately, unlike love, our flirting cards are free (to send, anyway). We're not saying you should be using wrongcards to flirt with people; we're saying that if you don't you will probably end up dying alone and unloved. In a cold damp room. On a mildewed carpet beside a dead clown with a needle in its arm. And lots of spiders.

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Most recent flirting ecard

flirting usercard

This is how I like to imagine you.  Except not as a baby, of course.
By the blue raja
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next thing to try flirting ecards

Now that we have done everything else, the next thing I would like for us to try is foreplay.
Let's say you're romantically involved with a balloon animal. Society doesn't understand - it never does - and you have to sneak out to this one Italian restaurant where the staff aren't all that judgmental. Now one night, over a candlelit dinner, she wafts across the table and touches the candle flame. Pop! She's dead! Do you tip the waiter for one meal or two?
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special occasions flirting ecards

If we start dating then I would no longer need to pay for sex except on special occasions. So it would be win-win for both of us.
Alright blokes, you're fond of a lady but you can't very well show up in her kitchen at 3am, naked and covered in mud and broken glass, claiming to be a time-traveler. Trust me, I speak from experience when I say that women are far too jaded and cynical nowadays for that to work. My best advice? Send this card. My next best advice requires a gorilla suit but I don't give away ALL my trade secrets.
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not half so adventurous flirting ecards

I'm not half as sexually adventurous as Mr Sock.
May 9th is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. I believe that every washing machine manufactured after 1963 was designed to eat precisely one sock per month, just to keep everybody in the consumer world a little off-balance. So where do all the socks go? They're sacrificed, with noble intent, for our collective unease. It's a religion I'm starting. And, of course, I'll be taking donations...
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practically perfectly practicing flirting ecards

We should get together and have sex sometime. Im getting to be quite good at it, by practicing on things etc.
Today's card is a rehash Wednesday flirting card which means it's probably Not Safe For Work (whatever that means) though it CAN be useful if you'd like to flirt with someone today. It will also make you more popular - every time I send it to a woman she writes back and tells me how much she just wants to be my friend, which obviously is very sweet and quite complimentary.
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sweet anteater lover flirting ecards

I want to make sweet love to you like an anteater.
Anteaters were once thought to be related to aardvarks but they turned out to be related to sloths and armadillos. I have never seem an anteater but I've seen several wombats. Anteaters aren't related to wombats but I don't see any reason why they wouldn't get along. Today's re-hash Wednesday card is dedicated to any anteater reading this.
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i would chop off an arm flirting ecards

i would chop off an arm for you. maybe not my arm, but someone's...
On re-hash Wednesday we nostalgically re-visit a card from days of yore. This was published on April 13, 2008, back when Wrongcards was a weekend project that I ran to stress-test the patience of Harvard's Department of Human Resources. BTW I told them that, there being only 20 million Australians, I was therefore a minority. 'You can't fire minorities', I said. Logic is my superpower.
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mayonnaise flirting ecards

mayonnaise makes the night more memorable
Today is re-hash Wednesday; I post an older card and then ever so slightly exaggerate my plans for the rest of the afternoon. By the way, I hope today's card doesn't discourage anyone. Frankly, I hope it inspires a certain spirit of scientific inquiry.
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progress report flirting ecards

Progress report: I now have THREE sexual fantasies of you that don't involve smurfs.
So, what did you do today? I drew a smurf. What?! Yeah - a smurf. Damn, man. Yeah I know - keep me in your prayers.
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the extra mile flirting ecards

Anyone can promise to be attracted to you until death. But when it comes to making promises I believe in going  the extra mile. And a picture of a skeleton.
Anyone who read Wuthering Heights knows that Heathcliff rifled about with Cathy's corpse exactly twice. Linton was immune to such passion, of course, and this is why women always prefer Heathcliff, or any wild-eyed savage who'd cuddle a lady's corpse just for the sake of nostalgia. It's called being romantic, fellers. Pay attention to Wrongcards and I'll teach you all about it.
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probably really like you flirting ecards

I probably really like you quite a lot. Or not - it depends of course on how you feel about me, which is a matter I cannot seem to accurately determine, which is why this card offers only the vaguest approximation of sentiment. This is a picture of an eel
The thing about eels is that they really are impossible to feel neutral about. You might think you like them a lot, say, when you're eating them in a Japanese restaurant. But face to face with them in an ocean, you will have one just thought: that thing is so ugly it is practically anathema.
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