A Foreigner's Thanksgiving in Detroit

I just came back from a Thanksgiving in Detroit. Because I'm not American I don't really celebrate Thanksgiving. However, because I'm married I am typically forced to pretend. Now, the in-laws are good, sober Christian folk. A preachers family, in fact. The food was nice, the Mother-in-Law was lovely and the Father-in-Law was taciturn and spent most of his time reading things like Christianity Today with a stern look on his face. Apparently a lot of serious things are going on out there in the world of organised Christianity and I feel a little thankful that my idea of 'serious' tend to be limited to things like climate change, lists of endangered species and the need for us to preserve marine habitats. Overall: in case you're wondering I think I behaved myself and mentioned none of these things.

I did at various stages misjudge my audience and say a few inappropriate things by accident. For instance: I mentioned that if anyone is ever subjected to a cavity search they should act as if they are enjoying them. A lot. After all, why should only the recipient of a cavity search be made to feel uncomfortable?

I don't know why I said that. I don't know why I say a lot of things. And it goes without saying that the statement did not elicit any amusement from anyone, just a look of sick horror before the topic of conversation changed. I felt pretty bad about it afterward and figured that if I explained this embarrassment to a few thousand readers then everything would be much better for me. So I'll see if that works.

Everywhere I went in Michigan I found that everyone seemed really nice and friendly. I always forget that North America is a friendly place filled with people who are mostly in a good mood. The reason I forget is because I live in Boston.

Anyway, I'm now very behind in my email correspondence - if you haven't heard from me and it's been a long-while, it's nothing personal. But I think next year I won't go to my in-laws' Thanksgiving and I'll spend it at home making Wrongcards. I felt sick and guilty not being here doing that. And when you think about it, that's kind of your fault and I hope you feel very bad about it.

But I did want to say to you that I think Thanksgiving is a very nice holiday that Americans have created for themselves. When you don't think about the massacre of tens of millions of animals (turkeys) it feels very wholesome and clean. There is something cosy and non-commercial about it as a sentiment and it feels a little bit like how Christmas should. And now it is past, it is another holiday that I must turn my mind to - funny Christmas cards that you should not send to anybody.

I love my work.