For those among us who are religiously tolerant enough to get away with laughing at the religiously intolerant, here is today's wrongcard. For everyone else, well, I look forward to your letters.
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Here's a vaguely NSFW-ish card that would be wrong for anyone to send to anyone. Unless, perhaps, to Mother. Allegedly I have issues. Can't afford a therapist so I did some self-diagnosis with shoplifted psychology textbooks. The diagnosis? Aside from my phobia of clowns my mental health is awesome.
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I know I may seem pretty well-adjusted but sometimes life throws me a bit. Example? Social engagements. They can be a bit stressful. I deal with them rationally, usually by promising to talk about my cousin who is a werewolf. But if you don't have a cousin who is a werewolf you can just send along this card.
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If you have to apologize to anyone then there is no reason you can't enjoy yourself. Also: you're allowed to snicker. If anyone disagrees, say that a stranger on the internet said so. "It's not a proper argument until you've quoted someone on the internet." - Gandhi.
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I find people very demanding. "Do this, do that, be quiet, don't eat my pudding, put down that knife, tie it off with a tourniquet, drive me to a hospital, what do you mean we're stopping to buy ice cream?" Today's card? Send it to anyone and they'll probably just GIVE you their pudding. It's only reasonable, really.
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Today's card is my way of helping people overcome depression. However, you should all understand that I can't do too good a job on Cheer Up Cards because pharmaceuticals companies will try to sue me for loss of income. So I hope you all have a *mostly* happy Tuesday.
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Occasionally I don't get my own way. So I lock myself in a bathroom and have a good cry while my friends sit outside and compliment me for a few hours through the door. Actually that is not what happens. Instead I have to pretend to be sorry and issue cards like these to my friends. Adult life is bitterly unfair.
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Today's card is a Missing You Wrongcard. And I believe that it would probably be endorsed by the American Psychiatric Association but I can't get through to them again this morning - they keep changing their phone number.
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