flirting ecards

About this category

Keeping the costs of flirtation down to a minimum is critical because flirting is your bread and butter, your ticket to fame and success. Fortunately, unlike love, our flirting cards are free (to send, anyway). We're not saying you should be using wrongcards to flirt with people; we're saying that if you don't you will probably end up dying alone and unloved. In a cold damp room. On a mildewed carpet beside a dead clown with a needle in its arm. And lots of spiders.

Like this page:

Most recent flirting card

I'm not half as sexually adventurous as Mr Sock.

not half so adventurous (flirting)

May 9th is National Lost Sock Memorial Day. I believe that every washing machine manufactured after 1963 was designed to eat precisely one sock per month, just to keep everybody in the consumer world a little off-balance. So where do all the socks go? They're sacrificed, with noble intent, for our collective unease. It's a religion I'm starting. And, of course, I'll be taking donations...

send this

We should get together and have sex sometime. Im getting to be quite good at it, by practicing on things etc.

practically perfectly practicing (flirting)

Today's card is a rehash Wednesday flirting card which means it's probably Not Safe For Work (whatever that means) though it CAN be useful if you'd like to flirt with someone today. It will also make you more popular - every time I send it to a woman she writes back and tells me how much she just wants to be my friend, which obviously is very sweet and quite complimentary.

see card

I want to make sweet love to you like an anteater.

sweet anteater lover (flirting)

Anteaters were once thought to be related to aardvarks but they turned out to be related to sloths and armadillos. I have never seem an anteater but I've seen several wombats. Anteaters aren't related to wombats but I don't see any reason why they wouldn't get along. Today's re-hash Wednesday card is dedicated to any anteater reading this.

see card

i would chop off an arm for you. maybe not my arm, but someone's...

i would chop off an arm (flirting)

On re-hash Wednesday we nostalgically re-visit a card from days of yore. This was published on April 13, 2008, back when Wrongcards was a weekend project that I ran to stress-test the patience of Harvard's Department of Human Resources. BTW I told them that, there being only 20 million Australians, I was therefore a minority. 'You can't fire minorities', I said. Logic is my superpower.

see card

mayonnaise makes the night more memorable

mayonnaise (flirting)

Today is re-hash Wednesday; I post an older card and then ever so slightly exaggerate my plans for the rest of the afternoon. By the way, I hope today's card doesn't discourage anyone. Frankly, I hope it inspires a certain spirit of scientific inquiry.

see card

Progress report: I now have THREE sexual fantasies of you that don't involve smurfs.

progress report (flirting)

So, what did you do today? I drew a smurf. What?! Yeah - a smurf. Damn, man. Yeah I know - keep me in your prayers.

see card

Anyone can promise to be attracted to you until death. But when it comes to making promises I believe in going the extra mile. And a picture of a skeleton.

the extra mile (flirting)

Anyone who read Wuthering Heights knows that Heathcliff rifled about with Cathy's corpse exactly twice. Linton was immune to such passion, of course, and this is why women always prefer Heathcliff, or any wild-eyed savage who'd cuddle a lady's corpse just for the sake of nostalgia. It's called being romantic, fellers. Pay attention to Wrongcards and I'll teach you all about it.

see card

I probably really like you quite a lot. Or not - it depends of course on how you feel about me, which is a matter I cannot seem to accurately determine, which is why this card offers only the vaguest approximation of sentiment. This is a picture of an eel

probably really like you (flirting)

The thing about eels is that they really are impossible to feel neutral about. You might think you like them a lot, say, when you're eating them in a Japanese restaurant. But face to face with them in an ocean, you will have one just thought: that thing is so ugly it is practically anathema.

see card