Whenever the television tells me that a zombie attack is in progress, I stay calm. I lock up the house and fill the bath tub with water, but I stay calm. You ever notice how everyone has a lot of relationship stuff to talk through when they're fighting zombies? This is why zombies are so unnerving.
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On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day using inexplicable similes. This is, of course, the only routine I have but it still gnaws at my mind like a rabid woodchuck. That aside, can we all agree that there is something horribly wrong with clowns?
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Today is another day, and this means that terribly sad things might occur to any of us at any moment. There is nothing that any of us can do to prevent our lives from being touched by death. My work is to replace all reason to despair with reason to smile. When life is this brief it is never too soon to smile.
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I've never known much about religion. I guess I'm agnostic because I don't want to wind up having to look surprised. Sadly, having a foot in both camps just means everyone feels obligated to preach at you. Today's card is about the Eating of the Eucharist. It's my way of coping with being recently told that it's not a biscuit.
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I never like to hear people arguing about religion because that means they're not sitting there listening attentively to me. Everyone has a different approach to religious debate. Mine is to scream: That Is Anathema! until everyone leaves. I guess it's important to win.
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One day an old lady on a bus told me that my being drafted into a war would probably fix everything that she instantly didn't like about me. I realized right away that this is why young people no longer introduce themselves with the words "at your disposal".
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In the US everyone seems to go on vacation in August - my inbox is full of out-of-office emails. If they're not doing anything, I'm not either: and did I mention today is re-hash Wednesday? Screw work, I'm off to steal office supplies. And maybe I'll redirect all print queues to the Vatican. The day is pregnant with possibilities...
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On Wednesdays I like to post an older card for the sake of nostalgia and spend the rest of the day warning people about minotaurs stealing our jobs. I'll keep doing that until Fox News finally runs a panel discussion on the subject. Then I'll just retire in sick horror.
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