Every time I see someone in Starbucks putting their feet on a seat I take a picture of them. Is that odd?
About this card: birthday obligationsIs it your Birthday today? Then I created a perfect card just for you. A-ha! I don't know anyone having a birthday. It was a lie. I lie like a rug! And I'm adrift in a sea of fabrication and dishonesty. But then again: if it isn't your Birthday then you have to admit, you kinda failed me personally as well. I'm going to forgive you, though, because it's what Dr. Phil would want me to do. Dr. Phil has a nice moustache.
Root access plz. https://t.co/leBRWRiwfp
I am available for friendship. $150 an hour. Will take walks with you too. No netflix and chill. I dont have either. https://t.co/GhPRZ96JAQ
Every now and then people ask me why I don't respect CNN. Here's to that. https://t.co/QI6Jh3G9wS