RT @danielmaier: This doesn't sound like the most amenable law firm. https://t.co/1rOuic4TOA
About this card: birthday obligationsIs it your Birthday today? Then I created a perfect card just for you. A-ha! I don't know anyone having a birthday. It was a lie. I lie like a rug! And I'm adrift in a sea of fabrication and dishonesty. But then again: if it isn't your Birthday then you have to admit, you kinda failed me personally as well. I'm going to forgive you, though, because it's what Dr. Phil would want me to do. Dr. Phil has a nice moustache.
RT @recordsANDradio: Donald Trump in 4 tweets ???? https://t.co/LN6zbCljhr
RT @HillaryClinton: How does your student loan debt make you feel? Tell us in 3 emojis or less.
RT @aparnapkin: Milo Yiannoupolis is like if half an idea that Sasha Baron Cohen threw in the trash came to life