Or, how to politely make people go away.
Making political jokes is one way to break the ice with people. It’s also an effective technique for making people go away. Nobody likes it when you say to someone, ‘please go away, I find you annoying’, so what I do instead is make enough political jokes and references that they’ll go away on their own accord.
Anyway, as for political comedy, I’m not really sure how to do it. The people with all the political power in this world are generally the worse possible candidates. If you really want funny polital jokes, read the headlines of the Politics section of a newspaper. When it comes to political satire, I’m afraid Wrongcards cannot compete with examples from reality.
My recent diagnosis (turns out I have a mind virus) was a bit of a surprise. I'd just been saying something like, 'wouldn't it be nice if everybody felt equal', and wham! Apparently mind viruses are everwhere now. Good news is Elon is working on a brain implant, so I'm not too worried.
I was not, as I mentioned once in a wrongcard, put on Earth to help people feel good about being wrong. But who am I, really? Just your average guy, really, just a regular boy who happens to have an invisible blood-soaked hammer of logic welded to his right hand. I like girls and nutmeg cake. I collect wasps, and destroy traitors and hypocrites with my mind. I'm not complicated.
Whenever people say to me "I don't like to discuss politics" I always assume they're just being polite about being politically clueless and inviting me to instruct them on what to believe. This would probably be an unsound approach if I wasn't really good at understanding the universal truths of the world. I'm also good at understanding social-cues, puzzles and collecting wasps in jars.
The American election process lasts about three years out of every four and costs roughly four bazillion dollars. Last time there was an election the Nobel Prize committee was so terrified of one of the candidates they gave away a peace prize to the other guy just for beating him. I've looked at your candidates and if you want my advice I think you should all learn how to grow your own food.
It's voting time in the US and there have been some requests for some election coverage here. The only problem is that, well, voting is a deeply divisive issue. Some are in favor of voting, others are against, and some are in favor of voting hundreds of times. I'd only do the latter if the bloke has particularly nice hair.