The funniest Christmas Cards on the internet.
I've seen the piles of prose penned by prominent pundits in the remainders sections of book stores; there's a Culture War raging on the streets and even Our Christmas Traditions are under attack. Well we're not here to simply offer tasteful ecards - we're here to enlighten civilization. When your Grandchildren ask: where were you during the Culture Wars? you can reply: at Wrongcards...
I watch Bill O'Reilly so I know that the widespread lack of belief in Santa can be explained as a plot against Christmas by liberal elites. Sometimes I'm not certain though. I tortured this elf in my bedroom for more information, and I'm very good at that, but so far he's given up nothing. I feel like I've failed all of you.
Whenever I create a potentially useful Wrongcard part of my soul dies. It never happens intentionally I swear.
The first Christmas wrongcard for 2010 is here. And you'll see that I chose to avoid controversy and just stick to the basic themes, which is how I like to operate. If you aren't feeling the Christmas spirit yet, try a Christmas-themed snack - like gingerbread. Or a leg of venison.
Stare off into the distance. "You're almost as disappointing as Norman...".."Who is Norman, Ma?".."Norman was a disappointment. He wasn't a devoted son either. Wanted to run off and 'live his life', whatever that means. All his poor Mother asked for was a zebra. Police never found his body." "I'll bring you a zebra mom, I promise."..."You're a good boy. On your way home, pick me up a carton of cigarettes."
Long-standing argument with my 6-year-old; she thinks Santa is real and I disagree. She thinks I'm needlessly skeptical. Interestingly, at this point I haven't bought a single Christmas present this year. I mean, there's still time for me to win this argument.