"Thanksgiving started when a bunch of Americans fed some half-starved illegal immigrants. The illegals, a bunch of religious extremists who liked to wear amusing hats, got drunk and kept calling the Americans 'Indians' for a joke. The Americans were cool about it though and, to commemorate that fact, the descendants of those illegal immigrants dine once a year with a bunch of people they don't like." (This is why people don't invite me to Thanksgiving anymore).
My Grandmother taught me everything there is to know about world religions, ie. lizards from space have infiltrated all world governments, we're part of the resistance, and all other religious beliefs are crazy. She taught me to be tolerant, and believe in all religions, except when they contradict the stuff about lizards because that's just CIA disinformation to test our faith. Hi Nanna!