People. I'm back. Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated - by others, and also by me - for tax purposes, but let's not get into that now. The important thing is that I'm back, which means it's time we kicked off this holiday season properly. I'd like to start off Christmas with a Hanukkah card. I know, right?! Look at us all - knowing what Hanukkah is and being all cosmopolitan...
I'm not saying that St. Patricks Day is a conspiracy perpetrated by Irish brewing countries in league with a cartel of manufacturers of green food coloring. No wait a minute, that IS what I'm trying to say. Sorry, there's something about this holiday that gets me all muddled. It might possibly be the alcohol speaking. Look, I'm very good at research.
We've been talking a lot about Christmas here lately but let's not forget that Jews also have a Christmas celebration (called Kawanza) that happens sometime between November and February I think. I read that jewish priests ordained it as a sin for Jews to exchange presents, but I'm sure no one will get in trouble if they just send Jewish wrongcards instead.
One of my daily challenges is the fact that I understand politics better than everybody else. I already know who will win the US election - some really rich Americans who live in Monaco and Switzerland. Normal Americans who live inside the United States won't fare so well, of course, but at least they'll get to have some interesting arguments among themselves at Thanksgiving.
Today is Good Friday. That's a public holiday in a lot of the world but not in the U.S., because the earliest colonists here were protestants and they got to set all the rules. When we're kicking off space exploration don't let protestants onto the space ships or there'll be no weekends on Mars. Today's card makes commercial use of religious imagery. In other words: Happy Easter!
So I spent this week camping in the White Mountains in New Hampshire and mostly feeling terrified of bears. The Jewish New Year came and went and I was oblivious to the whole thing this time. Another thing I'm afraid of is firecrackers and people dancing about in dragon costumes. Thank God I'm agnostic.
This week's Re-hash Wednesday card is, predictably, an Easter card. And for the record: You Probably Shouldn't Send It to Anyone. You see what I did there? I urged you to live responsibly. Good. My work here is done.