woke mind virus
February 21, 2023
all birthdays
July 7, 2020
hearts interchangeable
February 13, 2019
penguin with ice cream
February 6, 2019
sexy octopus
February 1, 2019
christmas mantis
December 17, 2018
gifts for in-laws
December 14, 2018
thinking outside the box
December 11, 2018
happy like me
October 16, 2018
arm the teachers
February 25, 2018
ridiculousness
February 13, 2018
alone with you
February 12, 2018
christmas spider
December 20, 2017
Jesus birthday
December 20, 2017
when they came for the clowns
December 9, 2017
historical awareness
October 10, 2016
spring tidings
April 22, 2016
silent killer
December 29, 2015
fewer spiders
December 27, 2015
appropriated holiday
December 23, 2015
what could go wrong
December 22, 2015
christmas deer
December 18, 2015
sneaky snowmen
December 16, 2015
santa knew too much
December 15, 2015
christmas leopard
December 14, 2015
homeland security
December 11, 2015
flight to egypt
December 10, 2015
tree killer
December 9, 2015
merry hanukkah
December 7, 2015
apprentice
October 20, 2015
reciprocity
February 12, 2015
everything is fantastic
December 23, 2014
paternity
December 22, 2014
not rudolf please santa
December 11, 2014
thanksgiving turkey
November 26, 2014
rocky phase
October 12, 2014
comrade lenin
July 16, 2014
inflatable sheep
June 5, 2014
identity issues
June 2, 2014
gorillas in the midst
March 25, 2014
irish brawl
March 16, 2014
breast defense
February 14, 2014
badgered
February 14, 2014
pterodactyl
February 4, 2014
insufficient
January 24, 2014
molotov cocktails
January 22, 2014
inflatable pony
January 21, 2014
inner world
January 16, 2014
gift lizard
December 20, 2013
sad santa
December 18, 2013
bearded man
December 12, 2013
disrespected
December 8, 2013
fear of failure
November 22, 2013
technically misleading
November 14, 2013
bright side
October 30, 2013
still want you
October 2, 2013
hell in a handbasket
September 26, 2013
just try
September 16, 2013
elephants
September 5, 2013
upside of missing you
September 4, 2013
giraffes
September 3, 2013
black mold
August 29, 2013
tasting tolerance
August 16, 2013
or much too much
August 15, 2013
zombie realism
July 24, 2013
positive things
July 23, 2013
next thing to try
July 18, 2013
feminist project
July 17, 2013
gnomes and fear
July 12, 2013
terror suspect
July 11, 2013
deeply sincerely
June 28, 2013
false positive
June 26, 2013
long term plans
June 24, 2013
birds and bees
June 13, 2013
pretending pinata
June 12, 2013
moral universe
June 12, 2013
leaving your body
June 5, 2013
sweet and endearing
June 3, 2013
special occasions
May 31, 2013
so i am not delusional
May 24, 2013
disappointment
May 17, 2013
life can be so sad
May 15, 2013
not half so adventurous
May 9, 2013
deeply profoundly
May 1, 2013
in my defense
April 30, 2013
practically
April 24, 2013
family portrait
April 23, 2013
spiders are sensitive
April 22, 2013
i need you back
April 17, 2013
weird noises
April 15, 2013
chicken problems
April 11, 2013
chinese restaurants
April 3, 2013
stephen hawking
April 2, 2013
traditional easter
March 29, 2013
workplace honesty
March 28, 2013
willingness to learn
March 19, 2013
dead fanatic
March 15, 2013
untraditional
March 13, 2013
uncontentious
March 12, 2013
role playing game
March 7, 2013
catholic vegetarian
March 5, 2013
gender tact
February 26, 2013
badly calibrated
February 25, 2013
mysophobic
February 20, 2013
cupcakes
February 14, 2013
picture of an earwig
February 13, 2013
pointy hats
February 12, 2013
recursive rhinoceros
February 7, 2013
subliminal
February 6, 2013
my problems
February 4, 2013
birthday heart
February 1, 2013
unexpected bears
January 31, 2013
gnomes live
January 29, 2013
sweet anteater lover
January 23, 2013
old peoples home
January 22, 2013
job description
January 18, 2013
presenteeism
January 16, 2013
the one with the rat
January 10, 2013
hallucinated
January 9, 2013
god of fire
January 4, 2013
chinese new years
January 2, 2013
a christmas exegesis
December 20, 2012
always remember
December 19, 2012
understanding me
December 14, 2012
santa is real
December 12, 2012
clowns and logic
December 12, 2012
jesus forgives
December 7, 2012
extremely inexpensive
December 6, 2012
bad little children
December 4, 2012
extrapolation
November 30, 2012
this never happened
November 28, 2012
thanksgiving excuse
November 21, 2012
sacrifice
November 20, 2012
argument
November 13, 2012
effortless
October 26, 2012
moth man inkblot
October 24, 2012
wall street
October 23, 2012
capitol idea
October 17, 2012
make yourself agreeable
October 3, 2012
midnight contract
September 24, 2012
upcoming marriage
September 19, 2012
canine motif
September 17, 2012
evolution
September 14, 2012
ereshkigal
September 10, 2012
suspicious
September 5, 2012
flee from cephalopods
August 31, 2012
testing faith
August 21, 2012
inconvenient
August 20, 2012
unambiguous
August 15, 2012
loneliness
August 14, 2012
synchronized swimming
August 2, 2012
unsung heroes
July 31, 2012
weight-lifting
July 27, 2012
greco roman wrestling
July 26, 2012
aliens fail me
July 4, 2012
uncomfortable
June 26, 2012
sanity first
June 21, 2012
self-made man
June 15, 2012
shining example
June 15, 2012
cypridophobia
June 13, 2012
certain conditions
May 25, 2012
transactions
April 27, 2012
birthday zebra
April 23, 2012
rich inner life
April 20, 2012
just stoned
April 18, 2012
communication
April 13, 2012
pyramid incident
April 11, 2012
easter lesson
April 4, 2012
psycho easter bunny
April 3, 2012
it is a sign
March 30, 2012
everyone should dream
March 28, 2012
never feel troubled
March 27, 2012
fifty fifty
March 23, 2012
i would chop off an arm
March 21, 2012
concessions to romance
March 20, 2012
why we drink
March 15, 2012
pretending to be irish
March 14, 2012
pleasant associations
March 12, 2012
anger management
March 7, 2012
sibling rivalry
March 5, 2012
nobody thinks
March 2, 2012
mauled by grizzly bears
February 29, 2012
secret of success
February 29, 2012
good exorcist
February 22, 2012
chores vs video games
February 21, 2012
sometimes i see things
February 15, 2012
winged babies
February 10, 2012
valentines day with you
February 8, 2012
contrariness
February 6, 2012
identical boxes
February 3, 2012
moderate quality
January 27, 2012
unauthorized
January 23, 2012
once bitten
January 19, 2012
this won’t pan out well
January 15, 2012
spandex psa
January 8, 2012
hanukkah presents
December 18, 2011
december baby
December 5, 2011
unwelcome follower
November 28, 2011
keep it interesting
November 23, 2011
simple genetics
November 21, 2011
darts and clowns
November 9, 2011
young people
November 8, 2011
nihilist cat
October 26, 2011
suburban halloween
October 19, 2011
inconsequential things
October 10, 2011
rosh hashanah suggestion
September 30, 2011
unsuspicious
September 26, 2011
calendar
September 20, 2011
transubstantiation
September 16, 2011
evidence
September 12, 2011
moral vacuum
September 7, 2011
usefulness
September 6, 2011
debilitating
August 29, 2011
mayonnaise
August 24, 2011
society was not ready
August 17, 2011
freudian slipknot
August 16, 2011
supermarket wolf
August 11, 2011
little excuse
July 22, 2011
moral high ground
July 19, 2011
everything is fine
July 14, 2011
progress report
July 7, 2011
rational depression
July 5, 2011
little bit irritable
July 1, 2011
implausibility
June 28, 2011
new birthday tradition
June 9, 2011
not getting angry
May 4, 2011
occasional improprieties
May 4, 2011
childless queen
May 3, 2011
werewolves exaggerate
April 28, 2011
experimenting
April 11, 2011
fairness to myself
April 5, 2011
enjoy stpatricks day
March 14, 2011
mission statement
March 14, 2011
nuanced views
March 7, 2011
minds wander
March 4, 2011
highly successful people
February 28, 2011
charlie sheen
February 27, 2011
fevered brows
February 23, 2011
label nazi
February 16, 2011
industrialist fat cats
February 9, 2011
fire safety
February 8, 2011
sincerest trust
February 3, 2011
cold dark void
January 30, 2011
codependency
January 27, 2011
sincerest hopes
January 24, 2011
good about being wrong
January 18, 2011
unintentionally
January 10, 2011
christmas sneaking
December 19, 2010
zombies are bitey
December 17, 2010
norwegian model excuse
December 16, 2010
disregard bison
December 13, 2010
trickle down christmas
December 12, 2010
true and reasonable
December 7, 2010
hanukkah duck
December 2, 2010
headache excuse
December 1, 2010
improbable muppets movie
November 27, 2010
genghis khans brother
November 24, 2010
calm rational people
November 20, 2010
hand lotion
November 15, 2010
effective lesson
November 13, 2010
kindness towards llamas
November 2, 2010
old fashioned advice
October 27, 2010
birthday obligations
October 19, 2010
house hunting advice
October 19, 2010
i don’t judge you
October 19, 2010
the extra mile
October 2, 2010
gregarious llama
September 30, 2010
probably really like you
September 28, 2010
being evil
September 24, 2010
difficult for a purpose
September 18, 2010
divided labor
September 15, 2010
busy being interesting
September 9, 2010
everybody knows
September 6, 2010
experimentation purposes
September 6, 2010
meaningless
August 10, 2010
lazy and unmotivated
August 8, 2010
getting attention
July 26, 2010
your alleged cake
July 26, 2010
russian roulette
July 15, 2010
middle management
July 14, 2010
valuable friendship
July 9, 2010
youtube comment
July 7, 2010
just go la la la
July 6, 2010
childrens art critic
July 2, 2010
internet productivity
July 1, 2010
selfish interests
June 20, 2010
amorous puffin
June 10, 2010
no one can make you
June 9, 2010
blaming mother
June 8, 2010
otherwise sincere
June 8, 2010
pencil shaving
June 8, 2010
pony free childhood
June 8, 2010
practicing acupuncture
June 8, 2010
whatever works
June 8, 2010
photocopier advice
May 2, 2010
mistakenly implicated
April 29, 2010
squirrel conformity
April 27, 2010
duck drawing seduction
April 9, 2010
eat your spit day
April 6, 2010
easter guilt trip
April 3, 2010
irish identity issues
March 10, 2010
st patricks day help
March 10, 2010
failed apology
February 28, 2010
blame game
February 27, 2010
miscommunication
February 10, 2010
all babies are special
February 3, 2010
more interesting
February 3, 2010
proofs of gratitude
February 2, 2010
sheep are disappointing
January 15, 2010
excuses for argument
January 10, 2010
Secular Progressive
December 22, 2009
symbolic emptiness
December 15, 2009
internet memes
December 14, 2009
busy all day
November 11, 2009
ghost monkeys
November 9, 2009
suspecting swine flu
November 6, 2009
economic servitude
November 5, 2009
internet ranting
November 4, 2009
plastic morbidity
October 29, 2009
dating lonely agents
October 23, 2009
deserving rewards
October 20, 2009
broken promises
October 19, 2009
hand-drawn card
October 14, 2009
devils bargain
October 12, 2009
close and impersonal
October 7, 2009
future technology
October 5, 2009
weed safety
October 2, 2009
secretly gay
October 1, 2009
responsible actions
September 30, 2009
sometimes god talks smut
September 29, 2009
needing cigarette
September 28, 2009
doing that thing
September 21, 2009
all pandas
September 17, 2009
hypochondria
August 7, 2009
ridiculous lies
August 5, 2009
fraught with peril
August 3, 2009
librarians pretend
July 31, 2009
actual job satisfaction
July 29, 2009
sexually generous
July 28, 2009
busy killing nazis
July 22, 2009
how much alcohol
July 21, 2009
unattended forklifts
July 20, 2009
celebrating avoidance
July 15, 2009
sometimes monologue
July 14, 2009
tawdry and mundane
July 13, 2009
pretty weird
July 10, 2009
immersion therapy
July 6, 2009
an effective noose
July 3, 2009
fricking android
July 2, 2009
sorry im not selfless
July 1, 2009
michael jackson
June 25, 2009
real men hunt zombies
June 25, 2009
a few go missing
June 24, 2009
how amenable are you
June 22, 2009
legitimate fathers day
June 20, 2009
will this do?
June 19, 2009
small trophy
June 17, 2009
trapped in a bubble
June 16, 2009
delicious mistakes
June 12, 2009
not my real father
June 11, 2009
taking the time
June 9, 2009
evil devil baby
June 5, 2009
god will have his jokes
June 3, 2009
teaching appreciation
June 3, 2009
life affirming
June 2, 2009
one mouse at a time
June 1, 2009
equal opportunities
May 14, 2009
trekkies whatever
May 13, 2009
ronald mcdonald
May 12, 2009
maternal sacrifice
May 9, 2009
HR frowns upon stuff
May 8, 2009
irrevocable pain
May 7, 2009
i still have my health
May 6, 2009
traditional wedding
May 4, 2009
forty three percent
May 2, 2009
sabotage is thirsty work
May 1, 2009
stealing helicopters
April 30, 2009
to bury the hatchet
April 29, 2009
exceeding expectations
April 26, 2009
reasons to forgive
April 25, 2009
it likes to watch
April 23, 2009
positive thinking
April 19, 2009
getting stabby
April 16, 2009
god and dr phil
April 15, 2009
job satisfaction
April 12, 2009
unthanked benefactor
April 11, 2009
easter isn’t tactless
April 10, 2009
hoping it goes okay
April 10, 2009
chocolate vendors
April 5, 2009
i am only trying to help
March 31, 2009
accepting me
March 29, 2009
feeling terribly sad
March 27, 2009
crazy planet
March 25, 2009
five babies
March 20, 2009
i am trying to decide
March 10, 2009
you’re not going to die
March 10, 2009
slightly irregular
March 4, 2009
loot tobacconists first
February 16, 2009
healthy relationship
February 15, 2009
ineffectual
February 13, 2009
hurting you is like
February 10, 2009
sorry you got angry
February 10, 2009
not beer and strippers
January 23, 2009
my premonition
January 17, 2009
sorry you are unwell
January 12, 2009
feel good okay
January 7, 2009
you make me feel awesome
January 7, 2009
celebrating uniqueness
January 4, 2009
consumer goods
January 4, 2009
i might share chocolate
January 3, 2009
if today isnt
January 2, 2009
gaze into the abyss
December 31, 2008
an ideal resolution
December 28, 2008
sorry if i inadvertently
December 23, 2008
undermines christmas
December 23, 2008
psychiatric medicine
December 18, 2008
romantic sort of way
December 17, 2008
awaiting mid-life crises
December 15, 2008
adequate christmas
December 14, 2008
christmas regrets
December 11, 2008
christmas zebra
December 11, 2008
the santa claus myth
December 10, 2008
a merry christmas
December 7, 2008
sadistic christmas
December 6, 2008
nobody ever listens
December 3, 2008
happy consumer holiday
November 28, 2008
good touch bad touch
November 20, 2008
invite the natives
November 20, 2008
special feelings
November 20, 2008
for our relationship
November 17, 2008
damnedest things
November 16, 2008
later they will say
November 16, 2008
turkey fondling
November 16, 2008
my awesomeness
November 15, 2008
foot massages
November 11, 2008
you mean more to me now
November 11, 2008
inappropriate moments
November 9, 2008
thanks for being cool
November 1, 2008
rainbows and unicorns
October 29, 2008
halloween decorations
October 27, 2008
ten thousand creatures
October 15, 2008
happy jewish holiday
October 14, 2008
happy yom kipper
October 14, 2008
your inner child
October 10, 2008
creepy enough
October 9, 2008
ergasiophobia
October 4, 2008
i am secretly relieved
October 3, 2008
custard is a lubricant
October 2, 2008
more to halloween
October 2, 2008
a good thing
October 1, 2008
if pooh bear
September 26, 2008
prepare your children
September 26, 2008
i wasn’t this confused
September 24, 2008
you and me, and baby
September 22, 2008
all of creation mocks me
September 20, 2008
arson and dissent
September 20, 2008
brain parasites
September 19, 2008
so this is gratitude
September 19, 2008
worked something out
September 15, 2008
look over your shoulder
August 25, 2008
you should feel alarmed
August 25, 2008
hold hands
August 22, 2008
genetically speaking
August 20, 2008
its never too late
August 20, 2008
figurative or literal
August 19, 2008
barely meets standards
August 16, 2008
if you are crazy
August 16, 2008
scientific inquiry
August 15, 2008
why does society
August 12, 2008
commitment
August 11, 2008
nobody will understand
August 6, 2008
heath ledger
August 5, 2008
when i need cheering up
August 5, 2008
your wardrobe
August 5, 2008
venereal diseases
August 4, 2008
weird thoughts
July 23, 2008
happy birthday mofo
July 22, 2008
still not happening
July 22, 2008
more than toast
July 1, 2008
freaking myself out
June 25, 2008
who can i kill
June 24, 2008
annoying stuff
June 22, 2008
happy belated birthday
June 22, 2008
clown-killing
June 21, 2008
not in a gay way
June 21, 2008
seven ninjas
June 20, 2008
zombification vacation
June 20, 2008
delightfully impure
June 19, 2008
ice cream and sympathy
June 19, 2008
lack of sympathy
June 17, 2008
delightfully difficult
June 11, 2008
the money i save
June 6, 2008
solitary moment
June 4, 2008
sure no webcam
June 4, 2008
lets fight a duel
June 3, 2008
only thirty seconds
June 3, 2008
advanced literacy
June 1, 2008
when all else fails
June 1, 2008
next time i eat chicken
May 26, 2008
i love you strangely
May 19, 2008
if ever asked
May 19, 2008
this place is gonna burn
May 18, 2008
trying to care
May 16, 2008
zombies and axes
May 16, 2008
frothy discharge
May 15, 2008
the money we save
May 15, 2008
hanging out with dogs
May 14, 2008
lizard ate my weed
May 14, 2008
goddamned ninjas
May 13, 2008
a quick reminder …
May 12, 2008
a birthday remembered
May 11, 2008
fear reprisals
May 11, 2008
hate birthdays
May 11, 2008
i hope you get well
May 11, 2008
babies are cute
May 10, 2008
harshed your mellow
May 10, 2008
revolution comes
May 10, 2008
we’re having a baby!
May 10, 2008
these pretty flowers
May 9, 2008
eaten your goldfish
May 8, 2008
expensive gift
May 8, 2008
zombies spotted
May 8, 2008
jesus doesn’t like you
May 7, 2008
profound regret
May 7, 2008
too old to be breast-fed
May 6, 2008
yeah yeah yeah
May 6, 2008
grant us strength
May 4, 2008
i promise to reform
May 4, 2008
dont reason with zombies
May 3, 2008
so much to tell you
May 3, 2008
investigations confirmed
May 2, 2008
my frickin psychiatrist
May 2, 2008
stay in the basement
May 1, 2008
about you and me
April 30, 2008
imaginary friends
April 29, 2008
sober for one day
April 29, 2008
support you reproducing
April 29, 2008
not allowed
April 27, 2008
big enough to admit it
April 26, 2008
this is a triumph
April 26, 2008
umbrellas and stabbings
April 26, 2008
everybody loves balloons
April 25, 2008
if you don’t get well
April 25, 2008
sorry about the dead bat
April 25, 2008
traitors and pigs
April 25, 2008
lots of fun, but
April 24, 2008
vague smile
April 24, 2008
stand closer
April 23, 2008
spontaneous in bed
April 17, 2008
dogs outrun zombies
April 13, 2008
my psychiatrist hates it
April 13, 2008
tonight’s safe word
April 13, 2008
zombies and malls
April 13, 2008
requiring imagination
April 12, 2008
this whole situation
April 12, 2008
zombies will eat you
April 12, 2008
save one shell
April 11, 2008
fear of clowns
April 10, 2008
never forget
April 10, 2008
batshit crazy
April 9, 2008
four out of five
April 9, 2008
human resources
April 9, 2008
well adjusted
April 8, 2008
the more stoned i get
April 6, 2008
third dead clown
April 1, 2008
emotionally vulnerable
March 31, 2008
things are gonna crazy
March 31, 2008
cheer you up.
March 30, 2008
grim reaper
March 30, 2008
undermined world view
March 30, 2008
sincerely sorry
March 29, 2008
broken pencils
March 27, 2008
ladybugs are beautiful
March 26, 2008
still waiting
March 26, 2008
coffee and rohypnol
March 25, 2008
spat in your ice cream
March 25, 2008
unique and special
March 22, 2008
he has to sleep sometime
March 9, 2008
here is your card
January 18, 2008
totally drew this
January 18, 2008
you are so not prepared
January 18, 2008