Christmas Ecard with text: I badly wanted to buy you a Christmas present this year but what with this whole economic meltdown and everything... So here is a drawing I did for you of a deer instead. Actually I might have traced it.

15 Dec 2008

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christmas deer

'What are you getting me for Christmas?' she asked. 'A card,' I replied. 'Because you own a greeting card company, right?' 'That's right. If I give you a card I get to save money.' 'Great.' 'It is pretty cool,' I agreed. 'Well, at least promise me it'll be a traditional Christmas card, with deer on it or something.' 'I promise.'

Christmas

not rudolf please santa

The song 'I Saw Mummy Kissing Santa Claus' offers a pretty sinister implication when you believe in Santa. When I was a little kid, thinking about this man carrying on with some kid's mum was pretty distressing. Sure, he's a notorious 'reverse burglar', but what's his deal with messing about with other kid's mums? It's understandable then that when other kids got better presents than me, it did kind of change my attitude towards their mothers. In unrelated news, for some reason I wasn't invited to Christmas parties as a child either.

Christmas

Happy Hannukah Ecard with text: Happy Hanukkah from somebody who doesn't really know what it is and hopes you will never try to explain it.

hanukkah duck

It's Hanukkah, a time when Jews around the world get together to celebrate Jesus' birthday. I understand they also burn candles, called midichlorians, or a mandalorians, or something like that, and eat lots of Chinese food. I know Jesus really tried to improve Judaism, but removing Chinese food from Christmas seems like a mistake to me. I guess Jesus was just a fussy eater.

Happy Hannukah

Birthday Ecard with text: Happy Birthday etc. Please note that with the receipt of this ecard all of my obligations in the matter are now met.

birthday obligations

Is it your Birthday today? Then I created a perfect card just for you. A-ha! I don't know anyone having a birthday. It was a lie. I lie like a rug! And I'm adrift in a sea of fabrication and dishonesty. But then again: if it isn't your Birthday then you have to admit, you kinda failed me personally as well. I'm going to forgive you, though, because it's what Dr. Phil would want me to do. Dr. Phil has a nice moustache.

Birthday

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