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Ecard text: I am sure your baby is going to be more special than all the other babies in the world, and that this is not some trick of evolutionary psychology to keep you from ever forgetting where you last put it.
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The Story So Far, Part I

I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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Ecard text: don't misunderstand me, I think babies are cute! It's children, adolescents and adults who are the monsters.
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