Ecard text: I'm sorry I cannot celebrate your specific birthday this year because it turns out that All Birthdays Matter.
about this card
Life's been boring lately apart from a global pandemic, murder hornets, millions saying the virus is a hoax, plus riots, nitwits who think masks don't need to cover their noses, people posting on social media about Bill Gates using 5G for mind-control, and billionaires using social media for, um, actual mind-control, plus Nazis and possibly another plague but everything's fine I guess how are you.
prev send card next
ABOUT THIS CARD
Life's been boring lately apart from a global pandemic, murder hornets, millions saying the virus is a hoax, plus riots, nitwits who think masks don't need to cover their noses, people posting on social media about Bill Gates using 5G for mind-control, and billionaires using social media for, um, actual mind-control, plus Nazis and possibly another plague but everything's fine I guess how are you.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Random Cards
Ecard text: i am sorry you are bereaved but at least you have been rewarded with a small trophy
Ecard text: id hate for you to interpret my as a lack of sympathy or something. cause then i'd have to get all depressed and down-on-myself, like you are right now, which would totally suck for me. Oh God now you've got me all depressed and
Ecard text: Thinking of you in some fairly inappropriate moments.
Ecard text: Librarians pretend to freak out when you cut interesting pages out of their books but secretly they are happy that you love books.
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.