Ecard text: I'm sorry I cannot celebrate your specific birthday this year because it turns out that All Birthdays Matter.
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Life's been boring lately apart from a global pandemic, murder hornets, millions saying the virus is a hoax, plus riots, nitwits who think masks don't need to cover their noses, people posting on social media about Bill Gates using 5G for mind-control, and billionaires using social media for, um, actual mind-control, plus Nazis and possibly another plague but everything's fine I guess how are you.
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ABOUT THIS CARD
Life's been boring lately apart from a global pandemic, murder hornets, millions saying the virus is a hoax, plus riots, nitwits who think masks don't need to cover their noses, people posting on social media about Bill Gates using 5G for mind-control, and billionaires using social media for, um, actual mind-control, plus Nazis and possibly another plague but everything's fine I guess how are you.

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Ecard text: 'Society was not yet ready for what Mister Bunny and I shared together that hot complicated summer in the long grass behind my Aunt's old farm house. But looking back through the window of memory I simply recall him as he no doubt was: a sensitive yet utterly spoiled stuffed toy with an irrepressible curiosity about his body and, to my delight, my own.'
Ecard text: later they will say nobody expected the rise of hoards of undead thanksgiving zombie turkeys, all hungry for bloody vengeance...
Ecard text: If you're going to celebrate Columbus Day then show some historical awareness, perhaps by spending the day giving syphilis to Europeans.
Ecard text: Happy Mother's Day. Thank you for turning me into a fully functional, mature adult capable of determining right from wrong. These turtles are having sex.
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