Alone with you | Valentines Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Valentines Ecard with text: I want to spend Valentines Day alone with you. And one of your more attractive friends. — about this card: alone with you | Here we are in the second month of our voyage aboard the good ship ‘2018’. Your Captain is here at the prow, crossbow in hand, on the look-out for albatrosses, and thinking about Valentines Day. Did you know people first celebrated Valentines Day in Roman times? They used to pair off women with men by a lottery. I know! And I’m a bad person for not celebrating it. Sigh. I’m just enabling you all.

somewhat related wrongcards

WTF Ecard with text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.

Love Ecard with text: It has not escaped my notice that I am expected to reveal an occasional awareness of our relationship by routinely presenting you with some sort of sentiment adorned with romantic symbology. Please enjoy this 'geometric cardioid' that was recognized for many centuries as an icon of genitalia. I thus expect that one or more sexual encounters will ensure.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: i can't find anything in the bible prohibiting inflatable sheep - so i think you're in the clear with jesus.

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?)

Birthday Ecard with text: I am giving you this Birthday Card even though you haven't done anything sufficiently sexual in nature to deserve it. Oh look, this bed is empty. (A picture of a bed)

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books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?