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    Ecard text: I want to spend Valentines Day alone with you. And one of your more attractive friends.
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    about this wrongcard

    Here we are in the second month of our voyage aboard the good ship '2018'. Your Captain is here at the prow, crossbow in hand, on the look-out for albatrosses, and thinking about Valentines Day. Did you know people first celebrated Valentines Day in Roman times? They used to pair off women with men by a lottery. I know! And I'm a bad person for not celebrating it. Sigh. I'm just enabling you all.

    • sex


    The Story So Far, Part I

    I just disappeared for four years. It's time to come out from the woodwork, but where do I start? How about I go back to the middle?

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    WTF cards 12 Oct 2014

    Ecard text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.
    Lately a lot of people have been assuming I was dead. It's strange how a man can't paint himself a greenish hue and lay about near busy intersections without everyone making weird assumptions. Now you might think of vampires as a sort of sublimated necrophiliac rape fantasy but that doesn't make them any less creepy. Today's card contains an octopus. The mention of vampires was just randomness.
    • cephalapod
    • cephalapods
    • animals
    • kinky
    • sex
    • relationships
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    Romance cards 20 Jun 2014

    Ecard text: It has not escaped my notice that I am expected to reveal an occasional awareness of our relationship by routinely presenting you with some sort of sentiment adorned with romantic symbology. Please enjoy this 'geometric cardioid' that was recognized for many centuries as an icon of genitalia. I thus expect that one or more sexual encounters will ensure.
    I'm an acknowledged expert in a couple of fields - it's only modesty preventing me from telling you which. But I will say that my as yet unpublished tome 'The Psychology of Wasps and Wasp-like Invertebrates' puts me among the greatest scientific minds of our age. I just need to secure a publisher (the hardware store won't sell me any zip-ties). Oh, I'm also an expert on romance. I'm such a renaissance man.
    • sex
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    Thinking Of You cards 5 Jun 2014

    Ecard text: i can't find anything in the bible prohibiting inflatable sheep - so i think you're in the clear with jesus.
    So I invented Rehash Wednesday years ago but the world stole my idea and made it #ThrowbackThursday to avoid having to pay me royalties. Which is fine because I am nice, even people who haven't met me say so all the time. Anyhow, I'm told there is a lot of yellow in this card but I haven't been able to see yellow since I got angry that one time and ate some lead pencils. I think this card is about sheep and morality.
    • plastic
    • animals
    • plastic animals
    • sheep
    • sex
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    Apology cards 14 Feb 2014

    Ecard text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?)
    ... and then it occurred to me that many men will be forgetting Valentines Day, and thus might be in dire need of an apology card tomorrow. Think about it. Think of the countless men who will awaken tomorrow to a frosty silence and spend the first half of the day in frozen bewilderment as to what the hell they forgot to do. And you thought YOU had problems.
    • relationship
    • sex
    • badger
    • breasts
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    About: Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion, and is possibly the most curious greeting card site on the web. Here you will find cards with a unique freshness and originality, which have been lovingly inked on fresh parchment by an emotionally mature artist committed only to the causes of good taste and judgment. Find out more about us.
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