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Baby Ecard with text: don't misunderstand me, I think babies are cute! It's children, adolescents and adults who are the monsters.
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11 May 2008

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WTF Ecard with text: Never annoy a dozen 4-year-olds who are armed with hatchets. Because they could probably take you down.

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I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

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from the newsletter

If I lived in Florida, I would inevitably end up owning a bazooka. It’s just the way I am. Which means that, eventually, I would be incarcerated for shooting that same bazooka at somebody riding a jet-ski.

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my newsletter is called

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read it here ➞

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WTF Ecard with text: Never annoy a dozen 4-year-olds who are armed with hatchets. Because they could probably take you down.

hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

WTF

Family Ecard with text: The most effective way to deal with any manifestation of sibling rivalry among small children is to issue them with light sabers.

sibling rivalry

Like most people I had parents. They ran a complex experiment on me called 'raising a child without reading a book or consulting anybody who has done it before'. But they must have done something right because God says he prefers me to just about everybody else in the world. In fact I could become a prophet but I suffer from a phobia of beards. Today's card is about families.

Family

Baby Ecard with text: I am sure your baby is going to be more special than all the other babies in the world, and that this is not some trick of evolutionary psychology to keep you from ever forgetting where you last put it.

all babies are special

...

Baby

Dark Humor Ecard with text: prepare your children for their real economic future. teach them how to pick pockets.

prepare your children

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

babies are cute

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tags:cute, children

don't misunderstand me, I think babies are cute! It's children, adolescents and adults who are the monsters.
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