Ecard text: Happy Fathers Day and thank you for teaching me about the birds and the bees by leaving your porn stash in a location that was conveniently accessible to children.
about this card
My Dad wasn't around much when I was a kid 'cause he was busy walking on the moon or making movies, so I had 20 or so 'other Dads', owing to Nanna's natural charisma. They taught me all sorts of things, like how to borrow cars, how to grow plants inside a cupboard and how to drive quickly away from banks. Today's card? Send it to your Dad(s).
prev send card next
ABOUT THIS CARD
My Dad wasn't around much when I was a kid 'cause he was busy walking on the moon or making movies, so I had 20 or so 'other Dads', owing to Nanna's natural charisma. They taught me all sorts of things, like how to borrow cars, how to grow plants inside a cupboard and how to drive quickly away from banks. Today's card? Send it to your Dad(s).

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Related Cards
Ecard text: Dad, thanks for turning me into a self-made man
Ecard text: Happy Father's Day, even if we don't have much in common other than an early interest in my Mother's breasts.
Ecard text: Another positive thing about midget porn is that it takes up 50% less space on your hard drive.
Ecard text: Happy father's day from one of your more legitimate children
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.