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Ecard text: Thank you for not sending me down a river in a basket made from reeds so that I might be found by a Childless Queen and raised in that strange, distant realm to be a great and terrible leader of men.
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I'm not allowed to celebrate Mother's Day with Mother, so each year I make a life-sized doll, you see, and I sit with her at the table and we make tea and I bring her favorite cigarettes and liquorice. When it is over I take her outside and set her on fire. Without traditions we would all be lost.



The Perfect Query Letter for Literary Agents

My quest to find a literary agent, its reasons, and some very excellent advice on how you too can query a literary agent.

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Ecard text: This Thanksgiving, let's be thankful to the US government for only supplying guns to calm, rational people with moderate religious views and opinions.
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Ecard text: I have been looking into it and apparently being evil pays pretty well and is probably more rewarding than what I'm doing now.
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Ecard text: Some Romans killed a nice man and then people began to worship him as a God. Then people said 'He DIED for you!? except it turns out you can't kill a God that easily and three days later he was back on his feet anyway.
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