Free Mother's Day Ecard: 'Childless Queen' | Wrongcards

Mother's Day Ecard with text: Thank you for not sending me down a river in a basket made from reeds so that I might be found by a Childless Queen and raised in that strange, distant realm to be a great and terrible leader of men. — about this card: childless queen | I’m not allowed to celebrate Mother’s Day with Mother, so each year I make a life-sized doll, you see, and I sit with her at the table and we make tea and I bring her favorite cigarettes and liquorice. When it is over I take her outside and set her on fire. Without traditions we would all be lost.

Somewhat Related Wrongcards

Christmas Ecard with text: One thing that really sucked about Jesus life was having to get his birthday presents AND Christmas presents on the same day each year.

Christmas Ecard with text: A picture of Mary and Joseph riding away from the Egyption pyramids, because a large wire fence with a sign saying 'no immigrants' is in the way.

Christmas Ecard with text: The best way to have a Merry Christmas is to not focus on the fact that paternity tests didn't exist 2000 years ago. (Picture of Joseph with a cloud over his head next to Mary holding a baby.)

St. Patrick's Day Ecard with text: Let's celebrate St Patricks Day by dividing into two teams along arbitrary religious lines and then beating each other senseless.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I am treating you with caution until I am certain that you are not going to turn into one of that Jackal-Headed gods of Ancient Egypt, because I'm sick of investing myself in people and winding up feeling foolish.

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A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

A Not So Cricketty Christmas

Some games of cricket can last for weeks. In fact, I think that's one of the reasons I moved to America.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

Strange Passage, Part Two

... and then I was locked up in a holding cell ...

Strange Passage, Part Two

... and then I was locked up in a holding cell ...

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Strange Passage, Part One

I tell you, it really makes a man think.

Don't Mention the War

I'll be very careful, don't worry.

Don't Mention the War

I'll be very careful, don't worry.

books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?