Christmas leopard | Christmas Ecard | WRONGCARDS

Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Good children receive gifts from Santa and bad children get eaten by the Christmas Leopard. Look - don't get angry at me, I don't make up the rules. — about this card: christmas leopard | The problem with Christmas is that children are too confident about the whole thing. They’re tottering around all cool and jaded, basically because you never taught them to fear Krampus the Christmas Demon. So thanks to your bad parenting kids don’t believe in demons and now they’re out of control! Well, don’t worry - I can help you out. Sure, they don’t believe in demons but you know something they do believe in? Leopards. You’re welcome.

somewhat related wrongcards

Valentines Ecard with text: I don't understand the basic point of Valentines Day so let's instead admire this picture of a penguin holding an ice cream.

Valentines Ecard with text: If you think about it, there's nothing sexier than an octopus.

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I am far too mature to feel like I have to agree with my friends about everything. It's when they disagree with me, however, that we have a problem.

Christmas Ecard with text: I may or may not have gotten you a Christmas spider. The joy lies in the discovery.

New Year's Ecard with text: Happy New Year. Have fun out there but remember: spider monkeys. They're a silent killer.

latest newsletters

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I've been revisiting some of my older cards. Some of them are inexplicable.

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The Infernal Terracotta Pot

I slightly injured myself. Then, whilst forced to do nothing at all, I began to wonder about my own mental well-being.

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Strange Passage, Part Two

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Strange Passage, Part Two

And then I was locked up in a holding cell, wondering what to do next.

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I tell you, it really makes a man think.

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books by me

The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

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Rise of the Blue Bandicoot Book Cover

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The Blue Bandicoot Saga Book Cover

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco Book Cover

Shea suffers from pathological problems with authority. When he's not fixing computers in the library at Harvard Medical School, he's tormenting middle managers and feuding with his boss. But where in the Harvard employee manual does it say you have to behave perfectly at all times?