Christmas Ecard with text: Due to prohibitively strict laws in my State, I could not this year contrive to present you with the severed head of Justin Bieber as a Christmas gift. And I say so with heartfelt regret and feelings of utter despondency.

12 Dec 2008

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santa knew too much

Santa. He 'knows when you've been bad or good'. That's quite an accomplishment, Santa, thanks very much. Good to know someone is keeping a watchful eye on me. But then again maybe, if you pay too much attention to what a man is doing in his private life, you might get a bit distracted and accidentally tumble down a flight of stairs. , , I'm only looking out for you, Santa.

Christmas

hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

WTF

molotov cocktails

Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.

WTF

Jewish Ecard with text: Dear Jewish person, I agree to be your friend on the condition that you at least TRY not to kill Jesus when he comes back.

just try

The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.

Jewish

from the newsletter

It was an unfortunate situation and I should tread carefully here, with all due tact and sensitivity, because I believe this gentleman’s issues relate to mental health. In fact, it is my impression that mental health experts would describe his condition as that of a Stark Raving Lunatic.

— Wrongcards Works a Bit Better Now, Which is Nice

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santa knew too much

Christmas

hatchets

WTF

molotov cocktails

Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.

WTF

just try

Jewish

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