Ecard text: Try not to regard it as 'pissing your life away in an office job' and see it more as a Devil's Bargain you made, trading adventure and excitement for the sake of security that you never regret, except between midnight and three am
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Ecard text: Remember: a capacity for critical thought may diminish your ability to experience actual job satisfaction. You might want to try reality television. Or eating glue.
Ecard text: Thank you for understanding that my not remembering to get you a birthday present stems from a rejection of banality and an idiosyncratic tendency to focus on the Great Themes of Life rather than the tawdry or mundane.
Ecard text: congratulation on your infant. here is hoping it is not an evil devil baby with demonic powers like pyrokinesis.
Ecard text: remember - advanced literacy can lead to feelings of despair and alienation. be careful to conceal this. instead, try to obey impulses originating from televisions.
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