Zombie Ecard with text: this man attempted to reason with zombies. don't be like him. remember - handle all human-zombie dialog with a 12-gauge double-barreled remington. let's all be prepared!

4 May 2008

Share this Card

Twitter Linkedin Facebook Pinterest Reddit Email

arm the teachers

People are always talking about their right to own a gun; they never talk about MY right to own a gun. If I owned a gun I'd be shooting it all the time. Double-parked cars. The occasional jet ski. This bus driver who closed the door as I was about to get on, who I chased for two miles on foot. The real reason I shouldn't have a gun is how much I want one. And also how much I want a bazooka.

Dark Humor

Zombie Ecard with text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

zombie realism

I've always had a very firm grasp on reality. The reason is that when I was twelve I witnessed my sister's abduction by extraterrestrials from our family home on Martha's Vineyard, which drove me to join the FBI where I investigated unsolved cases alongside a pretty, red-haired forensic pathologist. You don't have to believe me: the truth is out there.

Zombie

loneliness

Zombies - a fad that just won't die (bada-ba-ching!). Are zombies just a metaphor for consumer culture? Or do they symbolize the unshakable unease of post-modernity? Are we simply fated to wake up one day and find ourselves fighting for our lives? Or will it only 'seem' that way to the infected? Hell, don't ask me, I've got my own demons and today's card is a reminder of the fact...

Zombie

sanity first

I worry about some things. I worry that there's going to be a zombie outbreak and that most of you aren't going to approach it with the spirit of joie de vivre. 'Cause I've seen the movies and everyone runs around screaming and dying while talking earnestly about their relationships. I want you to all know that I'll do my best to help you survive but no-one is allowed to be a buzz-kill, okay?

Zombie

from the newsletter