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Ecard text: If I wasnt interested in sleeping with you sometime, why would I send you a cool drawing of a duck? Aforementioned picture of duck.
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Flirting cards

Ecard text: i totally drew this for you. its a man on a horse and stuff. im all artistic and sensitive and mysterious. so uh would you sleep with me?
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Valentines Day cards

Ecard text: When I said 'it is a low-brow superficial holiday' what I really meant to say was 'Happy Valentines Day.' I hope we are still on for sex.
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WTF cards

Ecard text: No matter how lonely you get never turn to sheep. They are very disappointing, emotionally, even though they squirm nicely.
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Excuses cards

Ecard text: 'Very soon I will think of something offensive to say that will cause three hours of bitter argument, followed by a solid half hour of make-up sex. (Note: I dont have anything yet, other than some fairly controversial views about geese).'
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