The lesson I have taken away from Easter is that if you are really, really, really nice to people, you will be betrayed by your friends, murdered and then, 2000 years later, everyone will remember you by eating a randomly chosen chocolate animal.
I've been meaning to become religious for a while now. I think I'd be really good at it. Everyone would be DAMN he's good at being religious, and I'd be like I KNOW RIGHT. I'd be better at being religious than Jesus, who, let's face it, kept a back-up career just in case (carpentry). My favorite quote by Jesus? "Live by the carpentry, die by the carpentry." See? Good at being religious.