Zombie Ecard with text: In the event of a sudden zombie attack secure all windows and doors before fetching beloved family pets from outside. spot can outrun them, and zombies have no taste for canine flesh.

14 Apr 2008

Share this Card

Twitter Linkedin Facebook Pinterest Reddit Email

optimism

Don't listen to what some people say, everyone is an optimist. Everyone is being completely optimistic - they might as well embrace the reality. Whenever I turn on the television I stare at it for eight minutes, turn it off and then have to go lie down because civilisation is clearly coming to a sticky end. But then I'm up 15 minutes later because Fox News must not win. See? Optimism. In other news, I should be a motivational speaker.

Inspirational

Zombie Ecard with text: A realist's plan for dealing with a zombie outbreak. step 1) run away screaming with hands over head in sheer panic and terror.

zombie realism

I've always had a very firm grasp on reality. The reason is that when I was twelve I witnessed my sister's abduction by extraterrestrials from our family home on Martha's Vineyard, which drove me to join the FBI where I investigated unsolved cases alongside a pretty, red-haired forensic pathologist. You don't have to believe me: the truth is out there.

Zombie

loneliness

Zombies - a fad that just won't die (bada-ba-ching!). Are zombies just a metaphor for consumer culture? Or do they symbolize the unshakable unease of post-modernity? Are we simply fated to wake up one day and find ourselves fighting for our lives? Or will it only 'seem' that way to the infected? Hell, don't ask me, I've got my own demons and today's card is a reminder of the fact...

Zombie

sanity first

I worry about some things. I worry that there's going to be a zombie outbreak and that most of you aren't going to approach it with the spirit of joie de vivre. 'Cause I've seen the movies and everyone runs around screaming and dying while talking earnestly about their relationships. I want you to all know that I'll do my best to help you survive but no-one is allowed to be a buzz-kill, okay?

Zombie

from the newsletter