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Ecard text: Thank you for turning me into one of those mysterious people who never talk about their families.
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I believe that families should always communicate. This can, however, be a challenge when your only apparent relative is dead. Even though my Nanna isn't with us anymore, conversations with her can get a bit one-sided; it's hard to get a word in edgewise over her demented shrieking and wailing. My advice: when a loved-one dies, do not hire a witch doctor to be a funeral director.



The Harvard Skull Fiasco is Now Available

There's a new book out in the world, and I wrote it.

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Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. There is no greater proof of my affection for you than the fact that I never set fire to a rival sibling, no matter how funny it would have been.
I'm ignoring our re-hash Wednesday tradition and posting a new card today because, well, I have the power to do so and because I am the boss. Being a boss is like being a king except instead of bringing you courtesans they bring you tea. Today's card is about Mother's Day. I'm sorry I mentioned courtesans before. Sometimes I say things that are a little bit inappropriate. It's a bit of a secret.
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Ecard text: It is a sign of just how much I actually like you that I haven't introduced you to my family yet.
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Ecard text: This Thanksgiving I plan on being thankful for my ancestor's genetic resistance to small pox.
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