free ecards that are
wrong for every occasion
Baby Ecard with text: Congratulations on your new baby. I'm sorry it's probably not the gender you wanted but you can always love it slightly less. Don't worry I won't tell anyone.
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about this card: fifty fifty | The behavioral nuances of an infant do not exactly enliven the mind unless, and I’m guessing here, your genetic material was used in its manufacture. Then it’s all diverting stuff. Look, I love the arrival of a baby but a soliloquy from a new parent about an infant’s burping habits? I can only remain in the room if I’m incapacitated, and even so, I still be clutching my head and screaming.
The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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Romance Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals.
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Apology Ecard with text: sorry you were a false positive on my gaydar
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Baby Ecard with text: Congratulations. I hope your baby is born a boy or girl.
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Romance Ecard with text: Love is like a rhinoceros with a saddle in the sense that if a pithy ecard with an obscure simile is somehow applicable to your relationship then you should both sit down and, over a nice cup of tea, work out what it is you are both doing wrong.
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Baby Ecard with text: If you don't like your first-born, it's useful keeping him or her around because it can be useful in supernatural transactions.
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