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WTF Ecard with text: Four out of five mental health professionals agree that i'm no danger to anybody. Don't worry about that one guy, I'll kill him later.
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10 Apr 2008

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Jewish Ecard with text: Dear Jewish person, I agree to be your friend on the condition that you at least TRY not to kill Jesus when he comes back.

just try

The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.

Jewish

Dark Humor Ecard with text: We know that Sigmund Freud never got to the bottom of the question 'what is it that women really want?' because his final work was not a volume of cupcake recipes.

cupcakes

Romance. It can't be avoided. It has all the sad inevitability of scabies. And what is romance, anyway? On the one hand, you say you don't like someone at work but when their house burns down suddenly I'm the bad guy. And some men grow up eating crayons. Love is not about taking away a man's crayons. What is Romance? Do I put my elbows on the table anymore? No I don't. So there.

Dark Humor

Family Ecard with text: Dont worry. Whatever happens I'm never gonna put you in an old peoples home.

old peoples home

I'm going to go ahead and admit that there aren't many Family Wrongcards yet. Ever since my own family died in an unsuspicious fire that happened while I was on the other side of town making a speech in front of several eyewitnesses, I don't like to think about family. Still, you have to admit it's an institution. And it's incredibly beautiful, the way it dances. Sometimes I think fire is a god.

Family

WTF Ecard with text: In my Rorschach ink-blot test I easily recognized the Moth Man who has been trying to eat my soul since my childhood. But I told the doctor I only saw my mother having sex. I like to make him happy.

moth man inkblot

On Wednesdays I feature an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to pass myself off as a credible researcher at Harvard Medical School. I carry a clipboard and say things like, 'We're making progress. I think we have reasons to feel optimistic.' Sooner or later they're going to let me play with the bodies.

WTF

from the newsletter

If I am ever renditioned to El Salvador in consequence a fairly innocuous tweet about the synthetic nature of Donald Trump’s hair, I will be the least surprised.

— Of Immigrants and Aliens

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Jewish Ecard with text: Dear Jewish person, I agree to be your friend on the condition that you at least TRY not to kill Jesus when he comes back.

just try

The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.

Jewish

Dark Humor Ecard with text: We know that Sigmund Freud never got to the bottom of the question 'what is it that women really want?' because his final work was not a volume of cupcake recipes.

cupcakes

Romance. It can't be avoided. It has all the sad inevitability of scabies. And what is romance, anyway? On the one hand, you say you don't like someone at work but when their house burns down suddenly I'm the bad guy. And some men grow up eating crayons. Love is not about taking away a man's crayons. What is Romance? Do I put my elbows on the table anymore? No I don't. So there.

Dark Humor

Family Ecard with text: Dont worry. Whatever happens I'm never gonna put you in an old peoples home.

old peoples home

I'm going to go ahead and admit that there aren't many Family Wrongcards yet. Ever since my own family died in an unsuspicious fire that happened while I was on the other side of town making a speech in front of several eyewitnesses, I don't like to think about family. Still, you have to admit it's an institution. And it's incredibly beautiful, the way it dances. Sometimes I think fire is a god.

Family

WTF Ecard with text: In my Rorschach ink-blot test I easily recognized the Moth Man who has been trying to eat my soul since my childhood. But I told the doctor I only saw my mother having sex. I like to make him happy.

moth man inkblot

On Wednesdays I feature an older card and then spend the rest of the day trying to pass myself off as a credible researcher at Harvard Medical School. I carry a clipboard and say things like, 'We're making progress. I think we have reasons to feel optimistic.' Sooner or later they're going to let me play with the bodies.

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Our decline into madness is inevitable, so there's really no need to panic.
— Never Go Full Rowling (Spoiler: You Will)

An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

four out of five

...

tags:murder, psychiatrist, psychiatry

Four out of five mental health professionals agree that i'm no danger to anybody. Don't worry about that one guy, I'll kill him later.
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