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Ecard text: I am not saying you have bad taste in music because I am your friend and friends dont say things like that. Even when friends think it, they remain ever silent. Even when it gnaws at them like some great, insidious insect...
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Read my latest book

"Shea is beginning to think that stealing the world's most famous skull wasn't the best way to launch his career in cat burglary..."

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From My Newsletter, June 20, 2019

I also considered throwing a chair through a window, but I didn't because it was my chair, and also my window. One should be particular when it comes to picking out targets for petty acts of vandalism.

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Ecard text: you mean more to me, now, than merely a token jewish friend.
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Thinking Of You cards

Ecard text: I am trying to decide if you are with me or against me.
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Thinking Of You cards

Ecard text: i like you even more than toast
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the evening hiding in the shrubbery of a nearby park dressed in a swamp-monster costume. I am how urban legends are born.
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Workplace cards

Ecard text: 'If you were paying attention you would have realized by now that you were promised a pony, but you never received this pony, and that this constitutes a massive betrayal in your life. And the only way to diminish this dull yet irrevocable pain in your heart is to stab random friends and co-workers with pens. Stop by later, I have some pens I'm prepared to sell you.'
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