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WRONGCARDS

@bluesky
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christmas spider

People say they want a Christmas surprise, but here's the thing: DO THEY? DO THEY REALLY? I'm not angry but what is the point of you saying, 'I want it to be a surprise' if you're going to run around shrieking for an hour and then go stay at your Mother's until Thursday? And no it's not because I don't understand Christmas, I have an entire WEBSITE about it so technically I'm an expert so there.

Christmas

my premonition

...

Birthday

Anniversaries Ecard with text: Our anniversary always reminds me just how lucky you are. ...Woah! It's a spider! Kill it! Kill it!

the reminder

...

Anniversaries

from the newsletter

Redcliffe doesn’t make you wonder if some evil genius is dumping methamphetamines into the water supply. You can exist here, somehow, for years without experiencing a sudden inclination to buy yourself a firearm. I think I was in Florida for four hours before I wanted to buy a gun.

— The Sunshine State Without the Crazy

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

christmas spider

People say they want a Christmas surprise, but here's the thing: DO THEY? DO THEY REALLY? I'm not angry but what is the point of you saying, 'I want it to be a surprise' if you're going to run around shrieking for an hour and then go stay at your Mother's until Thursday? And no it's not because I don't understand Christmas, I have an entire WEBSITE about it so technically I'm an expert so there.

Christmas