Missing You Ecard with text: I miss you.And now Ive brutally stabbed even my closest imaginary friends in a fit of pique Im feeling REALLY alone. This blood is also imaginary. Don't even worry about it.

17 Apr 2009

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bad news

'Why did you just take a photo of me?' he asked. 'Who knows why I do anything?' I replied. 'Just don't be putting me in any more wrongcards.' 'I would never do that,' I said firmly. 'You did one that said I smoked weed at work.' 'Maybe it was your imaginary friend,' I said. 'I don't have one,' he replied. 'Funny you should think that...'

CheerUp

nobody thinks

This surprises people but I've never actually lost an argument. People say it's because I'm delusional but people get all sorts of fanciful ideas in their heads. (I've also never lost a game of monopoly because ghosts knock the board off the table whenever I'm losing). Whatever. It doesn't matter. The point is that today's card is here.

WTF

TGIF Ecard with text: Thank God it's Friday and nobody in Senior Management was brutally stabbed to death with a pen due to an unfortunate misunderstanding.

stabby

One day, when someone finally hires me to work in senior management, I'm going to have to quietly make this wrongcard disappear. And if you're thinking, 'Kris you are not cut out for senior management', my response to you is that 'neither is anyone I have actually met who works in senior management, so there.' Happy Friday.

TGIF

Family Ecard with text: I think that if you had been an only child, you would have become lonely and tried to imagine me. And that would have become dangerous because if your imagination had summoned me, I would have wound up becoming our parents favorite again.

favoritism

A Family Card today that touches on the subject of sibling rivalry, with apologies to the 'only child's among us. And apologies as well to orphans and people who burned their families' house down, because they probably find cards mentioning siblings somewhat tactless. You see how it's hard to please everybody.

Family

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