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Ecard text: If I see a Western Lowland Gorilla today I am totally treating it as suspicious.
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about this wrongcard

'The fact that people write to thank me for making a truly useful ecard site has often given me pause for thought: what could I be doing wrong? Seems like too many of you are getting yourselves into some pretty weird situations. Today's card features a gorilla wearing a suit; if it seems relevant to your life then I have little choice but to throw my hands up in despair.'



The Perfect Query Letter for Literary Agents

My quest to find a literary agent, its reasons, and some very excellent advice on how you too can query a literary agent.

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WTF cards

Ecard text: Sometimes I see thing in the corner of my eye that I don't feel all that comfortable talking about yet.
On Wednesdays I like to post an older card and then spend the rest of the day going off topic. Today I'm in the Netherlands. The Dutch are a handsome people who, somewhat regrettably, like to speak gibberish. But today's card has nothing to do with Holland - what did you expect?
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Valentines Day cards

Ecard text: Happy Valentines Day because, after giving the matter some thought, I've decided to go through the motions and profess a semblance of romantic sentiment because, all things considered, it just seems preferable to the consequences I'd be force to endure if I did nothing. (A picture of a badger with the words: by the way, I just like this picture, I'm not trying to say I feel badgered or anything.)
I was hoping you guys would be cool this year and, in some unspoken way, universally recognize that Valentines Day is a lot of nonsense. I could have played video games today, guys; it could have been good. But no - here we are, I'm drawing badgers because some of you are dating people who believe in this stuff. I'm not angry with you. But let's see some progress next year ok?
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WTF cards

Ecard text: The fact that elephants are expected never to forget anything can make impending anniversaries for male elephants profoundly stressful, and been shown to lead to anxiety, depression and drug use. This elephant (pictured) is addicted to tranquilizers.
Anniversaries are great. If you can keep someone from working out who you truly are for an entire year then you deserve a bit of a romantic celebration. Sadly it is becoming increasingly customary these days to spend your anniversary with your partner and not with prostitutes, but traditional values will come back into vogue, don't worry. Another war will see to that.
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WTF cards

Ecard text: 'My favorite mythological creature is the giraffe. Fact: in some traditions giraffes are thought to be flightless. Which is ridiculous because if they couldn't fly, how did they all end up living in Antartica? '
Sometimes nice, well-meaning people will try and convince me that that lizards are not secretly running this entire planet. And privately I admit that this belief that primates rule the world is spooky and delusional but I don't SAY so, of course. I just smile and agree with them. The problem with people is that they lack a healthy skepticism. I blame the drugs that the lizards put in the water.
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