Ecard text: When we appropriated a pagan holiday,we didnt choose one with naked writhing priestesses performing orgiastic fertility rites and snake dances. No. We based our holiday on a Turkish guy called Nicholas who left coins in peoples shoes.
about this card
I love Christmas. Christmas doesn't mean presents, trees, or Jesus having a birthday. It means pudding and fruit mince pies! And also explaining what those things are to skeptical Americans who, without pudding or fruit mince pies, have been getting Christmas wrong for centuries. Oh I should say something about this card. Let's see. Let me think. Hmm. How about 'I need to stop saying the truth or nobody is going to invite me to their Christmas parties...'
ABOUT THIS CARD
I love Christmas. Christmas doesn't mean presents, trees, or Jesus having a birthday. It means pudding and fruit mince pies! And also explaining what those things are to skeptical Americans who, without pudding or fruit mince pies, have been getting Christmas wrong for centuries. Oh I should say something about this card. Let's see. Let me think. Hmm. How about 'I need to stop saying the truth or nobody is going to invite me to their Christmas parties...'

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Don't worry I'm happy to babysit. You can pay me in breast milk. I have a lot of pleasant associations with it.
Ecard text: happy birthday! btw when i said i was getting you a pony, i kinda lied. instead, here is a picture of some very colorful balloons. yay! Yay! everyone loves balloons! now shhhhh! i want to watch my show.
Ecard text: Some llamas are born with birth defects and look a little odd but they do not deserve to be mocked by people.
Ecard text: Happy Mothers Day. And just think about how much better our relationship would be if you had just bought me a pony like I asked?   I guess you'll have to be content with a crap ecard.
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