Ecard text: hope you have a great jewish holiday. but im sorry your messiah isn't very punctual.
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: Its Friday, and this week I learned the Human Resources frowns upon self-abuse in the copier room. With each passing week my office kung fu grows more powerful!
Ecard text: good touch bad touch. wait - show me bad touch again?
Ecard text: i hope that Jesus doesn't show up and ruin your passover...
Ecard text: I'm sorry I dramatically misinterpreted your suggestion that we bury the hatchet.
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"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.