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Jewish Ecard with text: hope you have a great jewish holiday. but im sorry your messiah isn't very punctual.
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15 Oct 2008

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Easter Greetings Ecard with text: To truly celebrate Easter in the traditional way we must first locate an unorthodox thinker who challenges the status quo and then nail him to some planks.

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Today is Good Friday. I don't know what Good Friday is about because I haven't read the Bible yet but I have, of course, discerned that there was a lot in the Bible about how much Jesus liked chocolate eggs. If I was a messiah everyone would be setting fire to clowns, then sitting about eating pudding afterwards. But chocolate eggs are okay I guess.

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from the newsletter

I suppose it’s hard to be a good man. One time, I read a book about Buddhism and there was nothing in there about buying bazookas off the black market and firing them at jet-skis. Even Eastern Philosophy has its limits.

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my newsletter is called

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Christmas Ecard with text: One thing that really sucked about Jesus life was having to get his birthday presents AND Christmas presents on the same day each year.

Jesus birthday

I'm kind of a Spiritual Expert. Answers to big theological questions, like, 'how much eggnog should ideally be consumed with a vindaloo curry', or 'which house is the easiest to steal a Christmas tree from' are easy for me. And I'm good at Christmas too; I love setting deer traps on the roof, I love putting out cookies and absinthe for Santa. BTW when Jesus comes back I'm sending him this card.

Christmas

Passover Ecard with text: Passover is the only part of the year in which you are allowed to throw buckets of lamb's blood at people's front doors without them accusing you of being a sociopath.

spring tidings

Now, I may not know anything about the world's religions but I don't like to think that it should prevent me from forming deeply held convictions on the topic. My Nanna taught me from the earliest age that only a few of us will be saved from the earth by lizard-people in flying saucers, so your guess is as good as mine. So Happy Passover (and Happy Dragon-Egg Festival, Nanna)!

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Jewish Ecard with text: Dear Jewish person, I agree to be your friend on the condition that you at least TRY not to kill Jesus when he comes back.

just try

The only reason Wrongcards has not officially endorsed a religion is because we haven't yet received a sponsorship offer. My hope is that we'll be sponsored by Christianity though I don't know much about it other than its founder was a tall, bearded, blue-eyed guy with North-American good looks. Still, his followers seem to be pretty heavily-armed, which I think is pretty persuasive really.

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Easter Greetings Ecard with text: To truly celebrate Easter in the traditional way we must first locate an unorthodox thinker who challenges the status quo and then nail him to some planks.

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Today is Good Friday. I don't know what Good Friday is about because I haven't read the Bible yet but I have, of course, discerned that there was a lot in the Bible about how much Jesus liked chocolate eggs. If I was a messiah everyone would be setting fire to clowns, then sitting about eating pudding afterwards. But chocolate eggs are okay I guess.

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

happy jewish holiday

...

tags:jewish, jesus, messiah

hope you have a great jewish holiday. but im sorry your messiah isn't very punctual.
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