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Workplace Ecard with text: Its Friday, and this week I learned the Human Resources frowns upon self-abuse in the copier room. With each passing week my office kung fu grows more powerful!
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9 May 2009

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from the newsletter

Who’s your least favorite African American? I’ll go first. Mine’s Elon Musk.

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Workplace Ecard with text: Companies are always looking for someone who can think outside the box. They like to hire them, and force them to not think outside the box.

thinking outside the box

'One time in a job interview someone asked me if I could think outside the box. Now, if I'd said YES I'd be thinking INSIDE the box, which is tantamount to saying NO. So I said, have you ever woken up to find a Chinese man licking your foot? Then they got uncomfortable and the interview ended. My point is, the world is a confused place. And the fact I'm not confused doesn't make it any easier.'

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Love Ecard with text: Ironically, Justin the Inflatable Pony doesn't give me a hard time about MY relationship with YOU...

inflatable pony

Romance is dead, they said - but I found out where they buried it. Now it's safely hidden under my bed. Don't worry, it only smells when I get it damp.

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Love Ecard with text: I want you to know that I would still want to be with you even if I COULD lick my own genitals.

still want you

Romance today is all about half-measures. It's gotten so bad that boys don't even steal flowers from graves any more, they just buy 'em in a shop. That's like saying 'I'll do anything to win and retain your affections provided it's convenient and lawful'. Once, lovers red-lined their emotions well into the realm of corpse desecration. But its ok, Romance can be saved; Wrongcards is taking it back!

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Missing You Ecard with text: I miss you but on the upside I at least have a lot more time to get in touch with my OWN body.

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I'm not ashamed to admit it: I'm a man and sometimes I have emotions. When Bunheads got canceled I went into a bit of a dark place. I dragged most of my furniture into the backyard and burned it all in a cold rage, and grew a beard for a while. Downton Abbey reruns made me feel whole again. You know what? I'm dedicating today's card to you. And to Bunheads.

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HR frowns upon stuff

...

tags:, , wank

Its Friday, and this week I learned the Human Resources frowns upon self-abuse in the copier room. With each passing week my office kung fu grows more powerful!
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