Dark Humor Ecard with text: i am secretly relieved that my burning desire to hang wall street executives from the nearest lamp post is fast becoming socially acceptable.

4 Oct 2008

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santa knew too much

Santa. He 'knows when you've been bad or good'. That's quite an accomplishment, Santa, thanks very much. Good to know someone is keeping a watchful eye on me. But then again maybe, if you pay too much attention to what a man is doing in his private life, you might get a bit distracted and accidentally tumble down a flight of stairs. , , I'm only looking out for you, Santa.

Christmas

Halloween Ecard with text: Trick'o'treating teaches children how to run extortion rackets for candy. You might as well just TELL them to grow up and become bankers.

apprentice

I don't really know anything about the history of Halloween but (and this is just a theory) I have basically assumed that the early Americans really hated pumpkins.

Halloween

hatchets

I know that Christmas has traditionally been about department stores making money but I've always hoped it might one day become a holiday for children. For some reason people assume I'm cynical but I've always liked children: they're funny, and they remind me of how each of us used to be - truthful, spontaneous, amoral and interesting. No child has ever once bored me with talk of mortgages or promotions. So our first Christmas wrongcard is for the children.

WTF

molotov cocktails

Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.

WTF

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santa knew too much

Christmas

apprentice

I don't really know anything about the history of Halloween but (and this is just a theory) I have basically assumed that the early Americans really hated pumpkins.

Halloween

hatchets

WTF

molotov cocktails

Never play with fire, they say, but that's no way to win at monopoly. I've started three fires during games of monopoly and went on to win each game. I think of fire as the God of Winning.

WTF

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