Valentines Ecard with text: Be my Valentine and I might share some chocolates with you or something. Though I also might not. Chocolate is kind of nice.

4 Jan 2009

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ridiculousness

Obviously I'm trying to raise some awareness here. Maybe launch a movement. Perhaps Valentines Day can topple over one day, like the statue of a dictator. The only thing stopping me from pointing out that this is a completely made-up holiday is the fact that they're ALL completely made up holidays! Also, nobody has ever sent me a Valentines Day thing. But whatevs. Not bitter; it's the institution.

Valentines

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry for what I did or did not do. Though in my defence this entire relationship was caused by your breasts. (Illustration of badger with the caption - A BADGER. Why does everything have to be relevent?)

breast defense

... and then it occurred to me that many men will be forgetting Valentines Day, and thus might be in dire need of an apology card tomorrow. Think about it. Think of the countless men who will awaken tomorrow to a frosty silence and spend the first half of the day in frozen bewilderment as to what the hell they forgot to do. And you thought YOU had problems.

Apology

Easter Greetings Ecard with text: This Easter - do not eat any eggs that come out of a rabbit. They are not chocolate.

easter psa

I’m in San Francisco writing a script for a Canadian TV adaption of Breaking Bad. The story is set in Alberta. The lead character gets cancer, receives free government healthcare, makes a full recovery and lots of nice friends. I really tried to put a rabbit into the story but it kept touching balloon animals inappropriately. Rabbits. They're so wrong.,

Easter Greetings

picture of an earwig

On Wednesdays I post an older card then I change the world. I believe we can all change the world, we just need love in our hearts. And seven billion dollars for research and development, and a basement full of kidnapped MIT kids to assemble the first batch of self-replicating robot slave spiders. Changing the world also requires pragmatism.

Valentines

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