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CheerUp Ecard with text: cheer up! you still have - i still have my health.
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7 May 2009

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So many troubles in the world seem to have come about from people being wrong about things, and frankly, I think they should cut it out.

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my newsletter is called

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Columbus Day Ecard with text: If you're going to celebrate Columbus Day then show some historical awareness, perhaps by spending the day giving syphilis to Europeans.

historical awareness

Alright, squad, I'm back. I've been off writing a book. It's finished now - what did I miss? I haven't been watching the news or anything - how is Bernie Sanders doing against Jeb Bush? Me? I'm feeling great. I grew a beard for a while and lived in my back yard, burned furniture to keep warm. Writing that book sure was a process. But we'll talk later. For now: Happy Columbus Day.

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Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Remember: it's probably not very sensitive to be leaving out cookies for a man who famously struggles with his weight.

sad santa

I watch Fox News so I know all about the plot against Christmas. That's right: conspirators are subverting people's belief in Santa. As a small business owner, and a believer in Santa Claus (I even saw him in a shopping mall once), I make this pledge: For every 1000 boxes of Wrongcards you buy I will send you a Fox News coffee mug (possibly chipped). Christmas saved, kids.

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i still have my health

...

tags:sickness, health

cheer up! you still have - i still have my health.
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