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Apology Ecard with text: i like to think of myself as delightfully difficult. and it may just be easier on you if you agreed.
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12 Jun 2008

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Workplace Ecard with text: Companies are always looking for someone who can think outside the box. They like to hire them, and force them to not think outside the box.

thinking outside the box

'One time in a job interview someone asked me if I could think outside the box. Now, if I'd said YES I'd be thinking INSIDE the box, which is tantamount to saying NO. So I said, have you ever woken up to find a Chinese man licking your foot? Then they got uncomfortable and the interview ended. My point is, the world is a confused place. And the fact I'm not confused doesn't make it any easier.'

Workplace

Flirting Ecard with text: I want to make sweet love to you like an anteater.

sweet anteater lover

Anteaters were once thought to be related to aardvarks but they turned out to be related to sloths and armadillos. I have never seem an anteater but I've seen several wombats. Anteaters aren't related to wombats but I don't see any reason why they wouldn't get along. Today's re-hash Wednesday card is dedicated to any anteater reading this.

Flirting

Christmas Ecard with text: I dont want you to get me a Christmas present. I want to sit there on Christmas day looking at you in disbelief that you believed that I didnt want a Christmas present.

understanding me

Most of us have been busy practicing our Pre-Apocalypse Stop, Drop and Roll Survival Drills so that we might outlive our more 'skeptical' friends. I can't wait to see the surprise on their faces when they're strafed by Pernicious Tabby Cats in Flying Saucers, which is how I suspect the Apocalypse will pan out. I'm usually right about stuff. I'll see you guys at the Christmas looting, ok?!

Christmas

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry you sometimes say irrational things when you get angry and that my effortless rebuttal only seems to further infuriate you.

effortless

Apologies? Well, there are times when the Nice People From Human Resources have ushered you into a special meeting, and they've given you a scone and tea and are talking in careful measured tones about 'conduct', whatever the hell that is. When that happens, don't throw the scone at anyone. Trust me. Anyhoo, I've got nothing to say about apologies.

Apology

from the newsletter

If I lived in Florida, I would inevitably end up owning a bazooka. It’s just the way I am. Which means that, eventually, I would be incarcerated for shooting that same bazooka at somebody riding a jet-ski.

— The Sunshine State Without the Crazy

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Workplace Ecard with text: Companies are always looking for someone who can think outside the box. They like to hire them, and force them to not think outside the box.

thinking outside the box

'One time in a job interview someone asked me if I could think outside the box. Now, if I'd said YES I'd be thinking INSIDE the box, which is tantamount to saying NO. So I said, have you ever woken up to find a Chinese man licking your foot? Then they got uncomfortable and the interview ended. My point is, the world is a confused place. And the fact I'm not confused doesn't make it any easier.'

Workplace

Flirting Ecard with text: I want to make sweet love to you like an anteater.

sweet anteater lover

Anteaters were once thought to be related to aardvarks but they turned out to be related to sloths and armadillos. I have never seem an anteater but I've seen several wombats. Anteaters aren't related to wombats but I don't see any reason why they wouldn't get along. Today's re-hash Wednesday card is dedicated to any anteater reading this.

Flirting

Christmas Ecard with text: I dont want you to get me a Christmas present. I want to sit there on Christmas day looking at you in disbelief that you believed that I didnt want a Christmas present.

understanding me

Most of us have been busy practicing our Pre-Apocalypse Stop, Drop and Roll Survival Drills so that we might outlive our more 'skeptical' friends. I can't wait to see the surprise on their faces when they're strafed by Pernicious Tabby Cats in Flying Saucers, which is how I suspect the Apocalypse will pan out. I'm usually right about stuff. I'll see you guys at the Christmas looting, ok?!

Christmas

Apology Ecard with text: I am sorry you sometimes say irrational things when you get angry and that my effortless rebuttal only seems to further infuriate you.

effortless

Apologies? Well, there are times when the Nice People From Human Resources have ushered you into a special meeting, and they've given you a scone and tea and are talking in careful measured tones about 'conduct', whatever the hell that is. When that happens, don't throw the scone at anyone. Trust me. Anyhoo, I've got nothing to say about apologies.

Apology

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

delightfully difficult

...

tags:, delightful, difficult

i like to think of myself as delightfully difficult. and it may just be easier on you if you agreed.
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