Skip to main content
Menu closed

Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Press 'Escape' to close menus
  • Use arrow keys to navigate menus
  • Press 'Enter' to select menu items
WRONGCARDS Wrongcards Logo Wrongcards Logo
  • @bluesky
  • About
  • My Substack
Skip to main content

Navigation shortcuts:

  • Press '/' to focus search
  • Press 'Esc' to close menus

Categories

  • Celebration
  • Family
  • Concerned
  • Holiday
    • Christmas
    • Easter
    • Thanksgiving
    • St Patrick's Day
    • Mother's Day
    • Father's Day
    • Independence Day
    • Happy New Year (Current Section)
    • Halloween (Current Section)
    • Columbus Day
  • Jewish
  • Just Because
  • Love
  • Dark Humor
New Year's Ecard with text: the ideal New Years Resolution should include the mention of a dead clown, a chain-saw, a stolen golf buggy, half a pound of peyote and a determination to improve oneself.
  1. Home
  2. /
  3. Ecards
  4. /
  5. Holiday
  6. /
  7. New Year's
  8. /
  9. An ideal resolution

29 Dec 2008

Share
x

Share this Card

Twitter Linkedin Facebook Pinterest Reddit Email
Send
Next
you might also like
CheerUp Ecard with text: When they came for the clowns, I did not speak out - because I felt pretty good about it really. And in conclusion I would like to add WOOHOO! (Picture of a clown being dragged away).

when they came for the clowns

My feelings about clowns are finally entering the mainstream; Stephen King just put out a documentary called 'IT', which has been very well received, and my Monday evening 'Clown Awareness' circle has grown to more than seven members (if counting my own dissociated personalities is permitted). So I feel good. And you could feel good too, because you know what else? I'M BACK.

CheerUp

Thinking of You Ecard with text: You are the best thing that ever happened to me except for that one time when I found half a clown under a bridge. That was a great day!

best thing

People often say to me 'hey, be careful or you'll set fire to that couch!' Another thing they say is, 'you're a good guy, Che, and a pillar of this community.' And I'm thankful too, which is something you should always feel or at least pretend to feel. This morning I made this card as a way of saying Thank You to people. Don't thank me - well, no, you should absolutely thank me. That's the point, right?

Thinking of You

Inspirational Ecard with text: You would be much happier if you focused on more positive things. With a picture of a dead clown.

positive things

I don't remember drawing a picture of a severed clown head on a spear. But I must have, because here it is. Published in 2013 as an inspirational card. And I have absolutely no recollection of doing it, either. Anyway, yet another reason I won't do therapy. Because I'd have to talk about this sort of thing.

Inspirational

CheerUp Ecard with text: Cheer up. Trust me, somewhere out there, alone and afraid in the woods, a clown is suffering.

shadowy truth

People sometimes feel bad about things and I blame the media, and also spider monkeys. Everybody puts such an emphasis on bad things happening everywhere but a lot of good things happen that don't get reported on. Each year thousands of circus clowns go missing. If you happen to have information about clown disappearances near you, remember: discretion is everything.

CheerUp

from the newsletter

I don’t have vices the way most people do—you know, cigarettes or alcohol or therapy or any other expensive hobby.

— The Sunshine State Without the Crazy

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
CheerUp Ecard with text: When they came for the clowns, I did not speak out - because I felt pretty good about it really. And in conclusion I would like to add WOOHOO! (Picture of a clown being dragged away).

when they came for the clowns

My feelings about clowns are finally entering the mainstream; Stephen King just put out a documentary called 'IT', which has been very well received, and my Monday evening 'Clown Awareness' circle has grown to more than seven members (if counting my own dissociated personalities is permitted). So I feel good. And you could feel good too, because you know what else? I'M BACK.

CheerUp

Thinking of You Ecard with text: You are the best thing that ever happened to me except for that one time when I found half a clown under a bridge. That was a great day!

best thing

People often say to me 'hey, be careful or you'll set fire to that couch!' Another thing they say is, 'you're a good guy, Che, and a pillar of this community.' And I'm thankful too, which is something you should always feel or at least pretend to feel. This morning I made this card as a way of saying Thank You to people. Don't thank me - well, no, you should absolutely thank me. That's the point, right?

Thinking of You

Inspirational Ecard with text: You would be much happier if you focused on more positive things. With a picture of a dead clown.

positive things

I don't remember drawing a picture of a severed clown head on a spear. But I must have, because here it is. Published in 2013 as an inspirational card. And I have absolutely no recollection of doing it, either. Anyway, yet another reason I won't do therapy. Because I'd have to talk about this sort of thing.

Inspirational

CheerUp Ecard with text: Cheer up. Trust me, somewhere out there, alone and afraid in the woods, a clown is suffering.

shadowy truth

People sometimes feel bad about things and I blame the media, and also spider monkeys. Everybody puts such an emphasis on bad things happening everywhere but a lot of good things happen that don't get reported on. Each year thousands of circus clowns go missing. If you happen to have information about clown disappearances near you, remember: discretion is everything.

CheerUp

latest newsletters

A cautionary tale about inappropriate postcards, forgotten Amazon stores, and why I'm giving away the evidence.
— I Made Postcards You'd Only Send to Your Enemies

On the hidden costs of raising children in late-stage capitalism.
— When Your Inner Monologue Escapes

How the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy foresaw AI chatbots, voice assistants, and irritating kitchen appliances decades before anyone else
— Don't Panic, but Douglas Adams Predicted All of This

Our decline into madness is inevitable, so there's really no need to panic.
— Never Go Full Rowling (Spoiler: You Will)

An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

an ideal resolution

...

tags:resolution, dead clown, clowns

the ideal New Years Resolution should include the mention of a dead clown, a chain-saw, a stolen golf buggy, half a pound of peyote and a determination to improve oneself.
Wrongcards Logo Wrongcards Logo
  • About Me
  • About Wrongcards
  • Buy Me Coffee
  • Newsletters
  • Get In Touch
© Copyright 2008-2025 All Rights Reserved