Inspirational Ecard with text: if to be well adjusted and mentally healthy is to be happy in a cubicle, living out in suburbia and enjoying Reality TV, then I need a straight jacket right now.

9 Apr 2008

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shouty man

The American election process lasts about three years out of every four and costs roughly four bazillion dollars. Last time there was an election the Nobel Prize committee was so terrified of one of the candidates they gave away a peace prize to the other guy just for beating him. I've looked at your candidates and if you want my advice I think you should all learn how to grow your own food.

Political Satire

identical boxes

Do you know anybody having a birthday this weekend? If so, this is not really the best card to send them. Unless you're giving them a completely rubbish present and you want to draw attention away from it. I once gave someone a chocolate bar wrapped up in gift paper, but that was before chocolate bars got so expensive.

Birthday

Halloween Ecard with text: Let's get dressed up as suburban parents, knock on doors and ask if the candy is gluten-free.

suburban halloween

The creepiest thing about Halloween is how it ritualistically teaches children to accept candy from strangers. The second creepy thing is that processed sugars are harmful and addictive substances that people just give to children anyway. The third creepy thing is that there's a goddamn skeleton covered in slightly damp meat, reading these words. What. I have to be the only one who's unsettled?

Halloween

Zombie Ecard with text: Fact: my conviction that the world will one day be overrun by mindless zombies is neither implausible nor absurd as the fact that Kim Kardashian has a television show.

implausibility

Are you worried about zombie attacks? I'm not, I'm worried about other things. I picked up a TV guide recently, just to see what reality shows were popular. But don't worry, I was feeling much better after a few days and I can even go outside again.

Zombie

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