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Birthday Ecard with text: I'm thinking about you on your birthday. but admittedly, i'm also thinking indescribably weird thoughts about geese.
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24 Jul 2008

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from the newsletter

She wafts in, regal and serene and looking thoroughly refreshed, only to find me gibbering in the corner of my mother’s living room, looking a perfect picture of restless despair.

— The Sunshine State Without the Crazy

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

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Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Remember, Snowmen are secretly sentient, and can oftentimes behave very weirdly. You dismiss my warnings at your own peril.

sneaky snowmen

People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...

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Thinking of You Ecard with text: I'm not saying that you eat spiders. I'm saying that we don't see spiders when you're around and that you rarely seem to be hungry, and it that it might be possible to exrapolate from this.

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You all know that I hate to boast but the fact is that I'm really good at logic. The only thing that stops me from writing a book called 'How To Defeat Everybody With Logic' is the worrying fact that I still occasionally see zebras following me around that nobody else can see. And Katie Couric would ask me about it during the interview and I'd have no response. Plus I'm also in love with Katie Couric.

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An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

weird thoughts

...

tags:thoughts, weird, geese

I'm thinking about you on your birthday. but admittedly, i'm also thinking indescribably weird thoughts about geese.
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