Mother's Day Ecard with text: i'm too old to be breast-fed, ma!

7 May 2008

Share this Card

Twitter Linkedin Facebook Pinterest Reddit Email

breast defense

... and then it occurred to me that many men will be forgetting Valentines Day, and thus might be in dire need of an apology card tomorrow. Think about it. Think of the countless men who will awaken tomorrow to a frosty silence and spend the first half of the day in frozen bewilderment as to what the hell they forgot to do. And you thought YOU had problems.

Apology

queen

People often say to me: 'Who are you?! And how did you get in here?' And I say: 'Sorry, wrong house!' and apologize for eating their yogurt. People also say to me, 'you're a good son, your mother must be proud!' and then I have to explain that I was raised by my grandmother who fed me lizards. And people wonder why I like the taste of yogurt so much.

Mother's Day

pleasant associations

Alright now. Spring seems to be unfurling languidly across the North-East, beckoning thoughts of all things new. Bleating lambs, chirpy birds and such. Tottering toddlers with sticky-jam hands. You know what I'm saying. Babies. Speaking of which, here's a Baby Card to look at it. Sharing it on people's walls? Wouldn't do it myself but then, I'm a serious individual ...

Baby

Father's Day Ecard with text: Happy Father's Day, even if we don't have much in common other than an early interest in my Mother's breasts.

commonality

Look over your shoulder - is somebody there? If not, quietly click on the link and look upon the Wrongcard that you won't be sending your Dad for Father's Day. Then - close the window and try not to think about it too much.

Father's Day

from the newsletter