Ecard text: please do not touch the thanksgiving turkey inappropriately this year
about this card
Yes I know it makes your parents uncomfortable but you said no more politics and besides, isn't it time we as a society had a conversation about turkey fondlers? Look, I know you say it's not a good time but you always say that and - Thanksgiving? I mean the topic just suggests itself! If your extended family is too immature to discuss turkey fondling, then fine but I don't know why I try so hard.
ABOUT THIS CARD
Yes I know it makes your parents uncomfortable but you said no more politics and besides, isn't it time we as a society had a conversation about turkey fondlers? Look, I know you say it's not a good time but you always say that and - Thanksgiving? I mean the topic just suggests itself! If your extended family is too immature to discuss turkey fondling, then fine but I don't know why I try so hard.

subscribe to my newsletter

Sign up here to get the latest updates and
receive one of my novels for free.

Related Cards
Ecard text: I miss you and you should come home soon because i am really freaking myself out here.
Ecard text: later they will say nobody expected the rise of hoards of undead thanksgiving zombie turkeys, all hungry for bloody vengeance...
Ecard text: Thinking of you in some fairly inappropriate moments.
Ecard text: next time i eat chicken, i'm cooking it first
BOOKS BY ME

"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

Subscribe, and receive for free!

"One of the funniest books that I've read."
—Joe Z.

"A fun, zany book full of quirky characters, witty banter, and clever plot twists."
— E. C. Rider.

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
—James M.

"Wickedly funny."
— R. Massey

Read for free on Kindle Unlimited

The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.