Ecard text: Isn't it time we talked about exchanging venereal diseases?
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Wrongcards offers free, funny ecards that are wrong for every occasion. The site is 'not-for-profit' and contains no ads, other than some reminders that the site's founder writes funny books that you can find at Amazon.

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Random Cards
Ecard text: If I wasnt interested in sleeping with you sometime, why would I send you a cool drawing of a duck? Aforementioned picture of duck.
Ecard text: then you advance on me through a blood red mist wielding a spear. I know  this fantasy is fraught with peril but I figure  that at this point in our relationship you owe me some stuff like this.
Ecard text: I am sorry we had a difference of opinion based upon my views being well-researched and nuanced.
Ecard text: Lets celebrate St Patrick's Day by developing a grudge and then nurturing it for a few centuries
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"The plan was simple — steal the world's most famous skull, and tell no more than 37 close personal friends and co-workers."

— The Harvard Skull Fiasco

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"I enjoyed this the second entry in the "Blue Bandicoot" series even more than the first; in particular the second half here is fantastic."
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The omnibus edition contains The Harvard Skull Fiasco and Rise of the Blue Bandicoot. The third book will be added for free in late 2020.