Skip to main content

Keyboard Shortcuts

  • Press 'Escape' to close menus
  • Use arrow keys to navigate menus
  • Press 'Enter' to select menu items
WRONGCARDS Wrongcards Logo Wrongcards Logo
  • @bluesky
  • About
  • My Substack
Skip to main content

Navigation shortcuts:

  • Press '/' to focus search
  • Press 'Esc' to close menus

Categories

  • Celebration
  • Family
  • Concerned
  • Holiday
  • Jewish
  • Just Because
  • Love (Current Section)
    • Flirting (Current Section)
    • Anniversary
    • Valentine's Day
  • Dark Humor
Flirting Ecard with text: just remember, tonight's safe word is 'hmmffmmmff'
  1. Home
  2. /
  3. Ecards
  4. /
  5. Love
  6. /
  7. Flirting
  8. /
  9. Tonight's safe word

14 Apr 2008

Previous
Share
x

Share this Card

Twitter Linkedin Facebook Pinterest Reddit Email
Send
Next
you might also like
Valentines Ecard with text: I want to spend Valentines Day alone with you. And one of your more attractive friends.

alone with you

Here we are in the second month of our voyage aboard the good ship '2018'. Your Captain is here at the prow, crossbow in hand, on the look-out for albatrosses, and thinking about Valentines Day. Did you know people first celebrated Valentines Day in Roman times? They used to pair off women with men by a lottery. I know! And I'm a bad person for not celebrating it. Sigh. I'm just enabling you all.

Valentines

Valentines Ecard with text: Here is your Valentines Day card. Now it is your turn to do something for me. Vaseline.

reciprocity

Some companies profiteer from war. Others profiteer from love. Which is worse? Here at Wrongcards™ we like to ask the hard questions. Like - is our company guilt-tripping you with stupid made-up holidays? Or are we culture assassins engaged in a war on savagery and kitsch? The answer to that question is really up to you. Or, rather, our lawyers, who very boringly overruled this slogan idea for our website: 'Wrongcards: The Halliburton of Ecards'.

Valentines

WTF Ecard with text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.

rocky phase

Lately a lot of people have been assuming I was dead. It's strange how a man can't paint himself a greenish hue and lay about near busy intersections without everyone making weird assumptions. Now you might think of vampires as a sort of sublimated necrophiliac rape fantasy but that doesn't make them any less creepy. Today's card contains an octopus. The mention of vampires was just randomness.

WTF

Love Ecard with text: It has not escaped my notice that I am expected to reveal an occasional awareness of our relationship by routinely presenting you with some sort of sentiment adorned with romantic symbology. Please enjoy this 'geometric cardioid' that was recognized for many centuries as an icon of genitalia. I thus expect that one or more sexual encounters will ensure.

cardioid

I'm an acknowledged expert in a couple of fields - it's only modesty preventing me from telling you which. But I will say that my as yet unpublished tome 'The Psychology of Wasps and Wasp-like Invertebrates' puts me among the greatest scientific minds of our age. I just need to secure a publisher (the hardware store won't sell me any zip-ties). Oh, I'm also an expert on romance. I'm such a renaissance man.

Love

from the newsletter

There I was, desperately trying to defuse the situation, and using my meager high school German to assure everybody present that I do not actually wear women’s panties.

— Strange Passage, Part One

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Valentines Ecard with text: I want to spend Valentines Day alone with you. And one of your more attractive friends.

alone with you

Here we are in the second month of our voyage aboard the good ship '2018'. Your Captain is here at the prow, crossbow in hand, on the look-out for albatrosses, and thinking about Valentines Day. Did you know people first celebrated Valentines Day in Roman times? They used to pair off women with men by a lottery. I know! And I'm a bad person for not celebrating it. Sigh. I'm just enabling you all.

Valentines

Valentines Ecard with text: Here is your Valentines Day card. Now it is your turn to do something for me. Vaseline.

reciprocity

Some companies profiteer from war. Others profiteer from love. Which is worse? Here at Wrongcards™ we like to ask the hard questions. Like - is our company guilt-tripping you with stupid made-up holidays? Or are we culture assassins engaged in a war on savagery and kitsch? The answer to that question is really up to you. Or, rather, our lawyers, who very boringly overruled this slogan idea for our website: 'Wrongcards: The Halliburton of Ecards'.

Valentines

WTF Ecard with text: The great benefit to exclusively having sex with an octopus is that it won't live long enough for you both to reach that 'rocky' phase of the relationship.

rocky phase

Lately a lot of people have been assuming I was dead. It's strange how a man can't paint himself a greenish hue and lay about near busy intersections without everyone making weird assumptions. Now you might think of vampires as a sort of sublimated necrophiliac rape fantasy but that doesn't make them any less creepy. Today's card contains an octopus. The mention of vampires was just randomness.

WTF

Love Ecard with text: It has not escaped my notice that I am expected to reveal an occasional awareness of our relationship by routinely presenting you with some sort of sentiment adorned with romantic symbology. Please enjoy this 'geometric cardioid' that was recognized for many centuries as an icon of genitalia. I thus expect that one or more sexual encounters will ensure.

cardioid

I'm an acknowledged expert in a couple of fields - it's only modesty preventing me from telling you which. But I will say that my as yet unpublished tome 'The Psychology of Wasps and Wasp-like Invertebrates' puts me among the greatest scientific minds of our age. I just need to secure a publisher (the hardware store won't sell me any zip-ties). Oh, I'm also an expert on romance. I'm such a renaissance man.

Love

latest newsletters

How the author of the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy foresaw AI chatbots, voice assistants, and irritating kitchen appliances decades before anyone else
— Don't Panic, but Douglas Adams Predicted All of This

Our decline into madness is inevitable, so there's really no need to panic.
— Never Go Full Rowling (Spoiler: You Will)

How I Maintained a Website for 17 Years That Google Refuses to Understand
— The Best Ecards Website Nobody Knows About

Or, How My Daughter Discovered Australian Politics (and Ran Screaming)
— Magpies, Ministers, and My Daughter's First Political Meltdown

An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

tonight's safe word

...

tags:sex, kinky

just remember, tonight's safe word is 'hmmffmmmff'
Wrongcards Logo Wrongcards Logo
  • About Me
  • About Wrongcards
  • Buy Me Coffee
  • Newsletters
  • Get In Touch
© Copyright 2008-2025 All Rights Reserved