In 2009, 24000 Australians died in Koala attacks. A further 17000 lost limbs in widespread maulings that the Australian Tourism Commission deny to this day. The 26 April is Hug an Australian Day. Hug generously, but don't startle us.

From 2001 to 2003 the settlement in which I grew up in Australia was terrorized by a pack of particularly belligerent koalas. In May 2003, after the 15th attack that year, the town elders voted to abandon the settlement. My half-sister Kevin bravely stayed behind to guard the retreat out of town; she was never seen again. Today is Hug an Australian Day. Do it for Kevin.