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Missing You Ecard with text: Life has been much less weird without you here
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23 Jun 2008

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Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Remember, Snowmen are secretly sentient, and can oftentimes behave very weirdly. You dismiss my warnings at your own peril.

sneaky snowmen

People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...

Christmas

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I'm not saying that you eat spiders. I'm saying that we don't see spiders when you're around and that you rarely seem to be hungry, and it that it might be possible to exrapolate from this.

extrapolation

You all know that I hate to boast but the fact is that I'm really good at logic. The only thing that stops me from writing a book called 'How To Defeat Everybody With Logic' is the worrying fact that I still occasionally see zebras following me around that nobody else can see. And Katie Couric would ask me about it during the interview and I'd have no response. Plus I'm also in love with Katie Couric.

Thinking of You

Valentines Ecard with text: Happy Valentines Day. Because there is nothing weird about winged, naked babies holding weapons.

winged babies

I'm the sort of responsible guy you could take back to your parent's trailer without police needing to get involved but that's only cause my Nanna raised me proper. I remember us sharing a tin of cat food one night and her telling me how 'chicks dig a romantic'. So fellers - take note.

Valentines

Workplace Ecard with text: I am on vacation, so I'll see you weirdos later.

vacation

In the US everyone seems to go on vacation in August - my inbox is full of out-of-office emails. If they're not doing anything, I'm not either: and did I mention today is re-hash Wednesday? Screw work, I'm off to steal office supplies. And maybe I'll redirect all print queues to the Vatican. The day is pregnant with possibilities...

Workplace

from the newsletter

Every time I stared down the sights of my BB gun at my neighbour as he descended his back stairs (unmasked and mindlessly unready for the perils of this world) I wondered why such men exist. And over time I concluded they exist because baby bears need to eat too.

— Oh, For the Fear of a Bear!

my newsletter is called

My Blameless Life

read it here ➞

you might also like
Christmas Ecard with text: Merry Christmas. Remember, Snowmen are secretly sentient, and can oftentimes behave very weirdly. You dismiss my warnings at your own peril.

sneaky snowmen

People often say I'm too serious, but I have so many responsibilities! I run one of the most influential and socially responsible websites on Earth! It's Christmas and I should burning tires in my living room and making up a batch of Nanna's lizard soup but here I am drawing pictures of snowmen for all you reckless people who think snowmen are safe to be around. Look at me, Nanna, saving the world again...

Christmas

Thinking of You Ecard with text: I'm not saying that you eat spiders. I'm saying that we don't see spiders when you're around and that you rarely seem to be hungry, and it that it might be possible to exrapolate from this.

extrapolation

You all know that I hate to boast but the fact is that I'm really good at logic. The only thing that stops me from writing a book called 'How To Defeat Everybody With Logic' is the worrying fact that I still occasionally see zebras following me around that nobody else can see. And Katie Couric would ask me about it during the interview and I'd have no response. Plus I'm also in love with Katie Couric.

Thinking of You

Valentines Ecard with text: Happy Valentines Day. Because there is nothing weird about winged, naked babies holding weapons.

winged babies

I'm the sort of responsible guy you could take back to your parent's trailer without police needing to get involved but that's only cause my Nanna raised me proper. I remember us sharing a tin of cat food one night and her telling me how 'chicks dig a romantic'. So fellers - take note.

Valentines

Workplace Ecard with text: I am on vacation, so I'll see you weirdos later.

vacation

In the US everyone seems to go on vacation in August - my inbox is full of out-of-office emails. If they're not doing anything, I'm not either: and did I mention today is re-hash Wednesday? Screw work, I'm off to steal office supplies. And maybe I'll redirect all print queues to the Vatican. The day is pregnant with possibilities...

Workplace

latest newsletters

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— The Best Ecards Website Nobody Knows About

Or, How My Daughter Discovered Australian Politics (and Ran Screaming)
— Magpies, Ministers, and My Daughter's First Political Meltdown

Parenting without an anti-tank weapon, and how it makes me better!
— The Sunshine State Without the Crazy

What six years in an autism research lab taught me about conspiracy theories and dangerous policy.
— Autism, RFK Jr, and the Lizard People

An illustration of a coffee-cup, and the text: 'buy me coffee'.

less weird

...

tags:weird

Life has been much less weird without you here
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