Zombie Ecard with text: When the zombies attack, many of your closest friends and relatives are going to die in a ferocious storm of mindless violence and blood.

17 Feb 2009

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we agree

When it comes to quarrels with friends, I believe in 'agreeing to disagree', particularly now I've been made to understand that Massachusetts has some really strict rules about attaching car batteries to people's ears. You know, I really need a legal team, and not some thin-skinned intern who drops out of law school and flees the state after the tiniest bit of harmless workplace electrocution.

Thinking of You

Family Ecard with text: One way to ensure that your children will do all their chores and homework is to carefully monopolize the household's supply of cigarettes.

monopoly

I was listening to some poor, hapless parent talking about how hard it was to get their kid to enter the civilized world and, before I knew it, the words of today's wrongcard fell off my tongue. If I ever become a parent I want to do it the old-fashioned way: accidentally. I look forward to it, I suppose; it just seems so romantic to flee a country and live under a false identity.

Family

Political Satire Ecard with text: I am sorry that you think it is impolite to talk about politics, especially while the country is going to Hell in a Handbasket due to the widespread political ignorance that has arisen from so many people thinking that is impolite to talk about politics.

hell in a handbasket

I was not, as I mentioned once in a wrongcard, put on Earth to help people feel good about being wrong. But who am I, really? Just your average guy, really, just a regular boy who happens to have an invisible blood-soaked hammer of logic welded to his right hand. I like girls and nutmeg cake. I collect wasps, and destroy traitors and hypocrites with my mind. I'm not complicated.

Political Satire

misheard

I have a theory. Have you ever vomited and thought: 'My God, there's tiny bits of carrots in it. Look at 'em all. Wait, I didn't eat carrots. When's the last time I ate carrots? I need to eat more carrots.' Anyway I have a theory. Your appendix? It produces tiny pieces of carrot for when you throw up. That's my theory. (I never said it was a good theory).

Thinking of You

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